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Bavarian Grass Works: Bayern Munich, we have a problem...in Augsburg

“What the hell is going on out there?

Germany vs. Slovakia Photo by Peter Kneffel/picture alliance via Getty Images

According to inside information from honorary grass correspondent (full-time, unpaid position) and ESPN commentator (paid position, but far less prestigious) Archie Rhind-Tutt, there could be an issue with the playing surface at WWK Arena — site of Bayern Munich vs. FC Augsburg.

Simply put, this is not one fine patch of grass. For the sake of your safety and all that is right in the world, please proceed with caution. If children are around, please cover their eyes:

Honestly, no wonder the pitch is in such bad shape...at times, it has been maintained by robots! Has anyone in Augsburg seen The Terminator? Do they know of SkyNet? Madness, I tell you:

FC Augsburg v Hannover 96 - Bundesliga
This little bastard probably has Harry Kane’s ACL in his crosshairs!
Photo by Micha Will/Bongarts/Getty Images

Bavarian Grass Works is following this situation closely and — as such in times of great conflict — we might need to raise the banners. So...Bavarian Grass Works community, stand back and stand by....err, let’s rephrase that.

How about...”Grass Regulators...Mount up!

No?

Damn, this rallying cry business is hard.


Want to get an idea of how Bayern Munich might line up without Kimmich, Upamecano, and Laimer? Check out our Bavarian Podcast Works — Preview Show: FC Augsburg vs. Bayern Munich on Spotify or below:

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