The Terrible Triumvirate: from Treble to Trophyless.

The Terrible Triumvirate: from Treble to Trophyless.


Everything around the club has started to get somewhat repetitive. At the start of each matchday, there is a glimmer of hope that maybe something different will happen. The game begins, we score first, and then it's half time. Great going, right? The second half begins and we concede an equalizer (which we all knew was inevitable), and it just gets worse from there on. The camera turns to the triumvirate, all either shaking their heads or in deep thought. The final whistle blows, and it's time for the post-game interviews. Each member of the board gives an interview that becomes increasingly hypocritical of their own past statements with every passing game; the players say we should have done better and all the Bayern fans further descend into absolute chaos.

One could justify writing an article against the board every week, simply because they continue to provide us with new and different forms of b*llshit regularly. My last article calling for the board's resignation talked about the same topic, and everything I said there still holds true. Hence, I won't make the same points again. This piece is more than just one bashing the board, but rather it's one that collectively criticizes everyone deserving of criticism: because the last time we went behind Dortmund in the standings was exactly one month ago: an instance that also caused the sacking of Julian Nagelsmann.

Pathetic performances (but why?)

The board can be blamed for a lot of things (and we will come back to that), but what they cannot be blamed for is the absolute disasterclasses we see week in week out on the pitch.

Personally, I hate singling out players. When a team loses it is in most scenarios, the entire team's fault. But like I said — it's getting repetitive. Also, I've cut them slack for too long. The focal point if this part of the article is (surprise-surprise!), the attack.


Mane, Sane and Goretzka - just a few of too many who have been very underwhelming as of late. (Source: The Mirror)

We will start with some obvious statistics. Under Tuchel, the team has played 7 games. In only two of those games has a forward scored a goal. Mané's opener against Mainz this weekend was the first goal an attacker has scored since the Dortmund game: that's 21 days and 5 games in which not a single forward scored.

It simply speaks volumes about the attack's inability to ...well... attack. Mané's goal against Mainz was his first since October for Bayern, Sané has once again showed that he only consistently performs in the Hinrunde, the less said about Gnabry the better. Regular disasterclasses. Oh, and Goretzka. It has gotten to the point where Kimmich is having to fulfill two roles every game.

This can also be because of poor squad planning. We have played every game without a DM for the last three years: inability to replace Thiago. Sané and Gnabry have shown with conviction now that they cannot consistently perform throughout one season— are they really our Robben and Ribery replacements? Mané's signing to make up for Lewandowski still remains one of our worst decisions. I can speak volumes about this: Brazzo's transfers are almost NEVER as good as we think they are. They fail to identify the holes in the squad and adequately fill them up. Point to be noted, dear reader.

Tuchel, it's troubling.

Come on. I don't need to say how big of a Tuchel fan I am. But, no one is devoid of criticism. I will attempt to phrase this bit as a set of rhetoric questions, for it is best suited.


Thomas Tuchel on the Bayern sidelines: Come on, we need more (and better) substitutions!

  • Why would you start Cancelo, who's gone by summer, every game instead of giving Stanisic or Mazraoui game time? They've both shown that they're more than good enough!
  • Why are Tel and Gravenberch not starting? Gravenberch cannot be worse than Goretzka, and Tel has a genuine argument to be our most lethal attacker!
  • Why were substitutions not made the moment Mainz equalised? Why did we wait until the last 15 minutes, by the time we were 3-1 down to make subs? I can't lie, Tuchel's substitutions have been very, very annoying recently.

Questionable decisions, every game. Think about it.

Weak mentality. Very weak.

At times, I think the post-game interviews are more excruciating than the games themselves. If coming off a painful loss in a game we should be winning is not enough, we're greeted with iMiaSanMia tweets that always manage to further worsen the situation.

To all players: If you've lost a game, it does NOT matter how well you played and for how long. You lost it. Seethe, cope, and instead of telling us how well you played for x minutes, tell us that you will do everything in your power to not let this happen ever again.

To the board: Unless all of you plan to collectively announce your resignation, just stop coming to interviews and trying to sell us your two faced nonsense. There are way too many statements I can single out here. The board should lose their jobs for their painful interviews trying to save face, let alone their actions.

Here's where I appreciate Tuchel. He's absolutely right: no sugarcoating the loss anymore while he's also taking responsibility. That's a strong mentality: need the players to reciprocate that.

Second half cancer? What's happening here?

I came across a very interesting statistic recently that further supports my last point. Take a look.


Bayern's tally if only the half time score was counted: Bayern are first, with just 2 losses and 71 points. Always dominant in the first 45. (Source:, via @MarvelDeutscher on Twitter)


A shocking contrast when it's regarding the second half. 11 losses, in tenth place with just 40 points: we just can't seem to finish games! (Source:, via @MarvelDeutscher on Twitter)

There's not much I can really add here. We seem to crumble in the second half every time, especially after the opposition scores. We cannot be losing our heads in such a crucial stage of the game. It shows an inability to close games. Like I said: poor mentality. It's not over until the final whistle, and it certainly isn't over when we're only up 1–0.

Incredibly incompetent!

The adjective "incredible" is not one that would usually be used to describe incompetency: yet somehow, in this case, it works. Bad transfer planning, a lack of clear goals, inability to see what's wrong (when EVERYONE else can) along with every reason I listed in my previous article. I cannot reiterate this enough. I'll keep this short and end this small bit here, or else I can go on forever.


Firstly, I would like to credit @CinematicBayern on Twitter for the main article image, the account makes great Bayern edits that I definitely recommend. That said, it's getting real.

Exactly one month ago to the day this article was posted, Bayern sacked Nagelsmann. It's the reason i wrote my first piece on this website, and it's probably why the nature of this piece is as it is. Like I said, no point lamenting anymore. Just worth mentioning what could have been a potential all-timer season, and what was ruined (cough cough, I'm looking at you - the triumvirate)

FC Bayern have not gone trophyless for 10 years running: and the streak should NOT end now. The fear is real (or should I say 'disaster' in Kahn's words?). The next five games will be of utmost importance and every game will be like a final. It's time for us to give our all and salvage what is left of this season ruined by the board, and then deal with the cancer present within the club in the summer.

Thank you for making it this far and listening to my rant. As always, ending on a positive note:

The board can take from us our coach, our joy of winning: but they cannot deprive us of our very own Mia San Mia spirit.

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