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Daily Schmankerl: Bayern Munich won’t pursue another center-back; Thomas Tuchel’s “Trinity Killer” lifecycle at Chelsea; Cristiano Ronaldo to BVB heating up?; Manchester United facepalm pursuit of João Félix; Joshua Zirkzee getting more interest; & MORE!

Here we go! Another Sunday game for Bayern Munich.

FC Bayern München Pre-Season Training Session Photo by S. Mellar/FC Bayern via Getty Images

No more center-backs this summer for Bayern (Tz via @iMiaSanMia)

After Bayern Munich sold off Tanguy Nianzou to Sevilla, there was some thought that the club might seek to bring in another central defender as an insurance policy.

Tz journalists Philipp Kessler and Mano Bonke are reporting that Bayern Munich will not go that route and that the club feels like it has ample depth with Lucas Hernández, Dayot Upamecano, Matthijs de Ligt, Benjamin Pavard, and Josip Stanišić all capable of playing the position:

Bayern will not sign another center-back this summer following the departure of Tanguy Nianzou. In addition to Upamecano, Hernández and de Ligt, Pavard and Stanišić can also play there.

Stanišić is the interesting case among the group. The Croatian international can play at all four spots on the backline, and is young and talented. There are rumors that he would be open to a loan, but Bayern Munich clearly values and appreciates what he brings to the roster — even if that has not resulted in much field time as of yet.

Aside of the defense and Stanišić’s individual situation, Sport Bild’s Christian Falk is reporting that:

CR7 — or at least his agent — wants to join BVB...badly? (Bild)

Could that (seemingly insane) rumor linking Cristiano Ronaldo to Borussia Dortmund actually have some merit? Bild seems to think so:

BILD can confirm reports from England: superstar Cristiano Ronaldo (37) absolutely wants to switch to Borussia Dortmund!

I mean...even Derek Rae is talking about it:

NUFC joins list of Zirkzee suitors (kicker via Get German Football News)

We saw on Thursday that Anderlecht appears to be closing in on a deal for Bayern Munich striker Joshua Zirkzee, but Newcastle United is still dying to spend money, and might want to overpay get into the bidding for the Dutchman:

As reported in Thursday’s edition of kicker, a move within the Bundesliga for Bayern Munich’s Joshua Zirkzee is unlikely given interest from Newcastle United among other clubs.

Borussia Mönchengladbach and Stuttgart are both interested in signing Zirkzee, whilst Augsburg have made an enquiry – Bayern Munich would allow the Dutchman to leave this summer for fee around €20m.

An unnamed Italian club, Anderlecht and Club Brugge have also shown interest in signing 21-year-old Zirkzee and per the report, a move within the Bundesliga is unlikely given the financial capability of other clubs that are interested in signing the Dutch youth international.

FC Augsburg and a few unnamed clubs in Italy are rumored to be in the mix for Zirkzee as well.

Tuchel to extend at Chelsea (@cfbayern)

When a news breaks that a Champions League-winning coach is close to renewing his contract at a club, the news is usually met with excitement.

Except least by me.

Thomas Tuchel and Chelsea FC are working toward a contract extension:

Tuchel, though, is firmly entrenched in “Phase 2” of his “Trinity Killer” (best season of Dexter ever and it’s not even close! John Lithgow was tremendous) coaching lifecycle, which goes like this:

  • Phase 1: Make instant impact because he is a good coach. Win over fans, club executives, etc. Get everyone to buy in that the future is bright.
  • Phase 2: Start to alienate players by grating on them. Get closely involved with transfers. Mismanage talent. Create locker room disharmony.
  • Phase 3: Become so unlikable to the team that ownership will eventually be forced to part ways.

Tuchel is no doubt a good coach. He does, however, have a tendency to make his players hate him.

Bavarian Podcast Works Preview Show: VfL Bochum vs. Bayern Munich (Bavarian Football Works)

Bayern Munich has an interesting assignment up next in the Bundesliga in the form of VfL Bochum. We look ahead to the fixture in this preview podcast. Without further ado, these are some of the topics we delve into:

  • How has VfL Bochum started the season?
  • Reflection on Bochum’s performance against Hoffenheim in the past weekend.
  • A quick look back at the Wolfsburg game.
  • Why the Wolfsburg game was interesting in its own way.
  • How Bochum might set up for this one.
  • Will Bayern Munich make any changes?
  • Why Serge Gnabry is a better fit for the team than Leroy Sané.
  • A look at the rest of the Bundesliga fixtures including some headscratchers.
  • A thought or two on that finale of Better Call Saul.

United is burning (@brfootball)

If you somehow missed Manchester United’s embarrassing last-ditch effort to add a big name player to the mix for 2022/23, let’s recap.

First, there was the $137 million (€134 million) bid to Atlético Madrid for João Félix:

When things are bad, teams get desperate — I totally get that. However, I do not feel like Félix is worth that kind of bid and in fact find him to be a tad overrated. Anyway, Atlético Madrid let it be known that Felix was not for sale:

Then...the final salvo was fired as Atlético Madrid confirmed the rumor via a snarky tweet:

This has not been a banner campaign for Manchester United so far.

Auba spurns Chelsea? Maybe...maybe not (@cfbayern)

FC Barcelona striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang might not want to move to Chelsea FC, but after weeks of rumors, the two clubs might want to get the deal done anyway:

It is not clear why Aubameyang might be against a move to link back up with Thomas Tuchel, but playing time at Barça seems like it will be hard to come by for the striker, given the presence of Robert Lewandowski.

Davies fawns over Mané (@Bundesliga_EN)

Alphonso Davies is clearly loving having Sadio Mané on the squad at Bayern Munich:

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