Off the Crossbar: When one (refrigerator) door closes, does another one open for Bayern Munich?

One of the most fun — and tremendously stupid — storylines we have encountered at BFW in recent years was involving the assertion that former Bayern Munich center-back Niklas Süle and Juventus defender Matthijs de Ligt were a bit too hefty for their chosen profession.

Now, hear me out, we think it is beyond ludicrous that anyone would think either of those young dudes are out of shape. It has become a great, running joke on the site for years now.

Years bro...years.

Because of that, I have always wanted to see the “All Chonk” center-back tandem of Süle and De Ligt as Bayern Munich’s big-boned bros on the backline. Celebrating each win with heavy beers and even heavier plates, this was my dream.

To defend his honor, Süle even had to declare publicly that he was no “lard arse.”

Alas, when Süle took his craving of kebabs to the North Rhine-Westphalia region, my fantasies were (orange) crushed. Now, though, Bayern Munich might be throwing me a (ribeye) bone and could be pursuing De Ligt.

While you might be able to argue that Süle has carried an extra pound or two at times, De Ligt’s case was completely ridiculous — and typical of Manchester United’s drunken sailor-type squad planning — because it didn’t even involve his own physical state.

Yup, the Red Robins...err, Devils, turned down a chance to ink De Ligt because they thought his dad was too heavy. It’s a good thing that BFW did not scan my family or else my grandfather might have been too drunk for SBN to hire me (or maybe that is why they hired me).

What a Whopper of a story!

Anyway, my crockpot, err, crackpot theory is that there is a strong chance that Lucas Hernandez will leave when his contract expires in 2024 — and if that turns out to be true, the Bavarians could be looking to sell off the Frenchman as early as next summer.

So...a pursuit of De Ligt — even if he is expensive — is not out of the realm of possibility for me. Will it happen? Fat chance...but we will always have our dreams, right?