Bayern Munich Alumni: Niko Kovac channels The Kinks for ex-player

In a recent interview with Canal+, recent Real Madrid signee and former AS Monaco midfielder Aurelien Tchouameni spoke about the impact that former Bayern Munich manager Niko Kovac had on him.

“My best coach? Niko Kovac without a doubt, before he came I was a boy, under him I became a man. He showed me that defense is art, he made me who I am,” Tchouameni said.

That guidance helped make Tchouameni a rich man as Real Madrid reached a verbal agreement with AS Monaco to sign the France international in a total package in a deal that was worth more than than €100 million

Because my mind works in mysterious ways, I could not help but think how much Tchouameni’s quote sounded like the lyrics from “Lola” by The Kinks.

Damn it...I re-wrote some of the lyrics:

I met him at a footy club down in Monaco

Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like lukewarm water

H-2-0, water

He walked up to me and he asked me to play

I asked him his name and in a Slavic voice he said Kovac

N-I-K-O, Kovac

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kovac

Well, I’m not the world’s most physical guy

But when taught me how play defense, he nearly broke my behind

Oh my Kovac

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kovac

Well, I’m not dumb but I can’t understand

Why he drinks lukewarm water and makes crazy demands

Oh my Kovac

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kovac

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kovac

Well, we drank lukewarm water and talked about Miami Nights

Under the Stade Louis II spotlights

He talked me up and patted my back gently

And said “Dear boy, won’t you play midfield for me?”

Well, I’m not the world’s most passionate guy

But when I saw the 99 Luftballoons video, I nearly lost my mind

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kovac

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kovac

Kovac

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kovac

Ka-ka-ka-ka Kovac

I could keep going, but you get the point.

Some day, the BFW Staff Band will add this to our play list.