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The DFB’s potential set of replacements for Oliver Bierhoff are... interesting

Roasting is good, both for my food and people.

Costa Rica v Germany: Group E - FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022
Oliver thinking about the mess he’s gonna leave the DFB in like:
Photo by Harry Langer/DeFodi Images via Getty Images

Former (!!) technical director of the DFB Oliver Bierhoff’s contract was terminated a while back amidst much chaos. Unrest within the DFB became more glaring after Germany’s appalling World Cup campaign and the political statements with regard to One Love. Group stage exits in two consecutive World Cups and disastrous European Championship campaigns taken into consideration, Bierhoff finds himself leaving the DFB two years ahead of his contract’s expiration.

The expectations out of his replacement will be massive — to pull Germany out of the mess they are and build a world-class team fit to win the upcoming 2024 Euros and naturally the 2026 World Cup. Several names have been thrown around, and I, your (second) favourite #MullerMafia member will be giving my takes on them all.

Warning: the following content is solely the opinion of Muller_Era and does not reflect what the rest of BFW thinks.

Fredi Bobic

No. Just no. The present version of Bobic is the Hertha Berlin one, not the Eintracht Frankfurt one.

His work in Hertha Berlin has been nothing short of atrocious. Someone who instead of addressing the mentality problem at Hertha, changed coaches every five months is not the person who can lead Germany in these dire times.

The chances of the DFB ending up with Bobic are not that high, but the fact that he was listed as a potential candidate scares me.

Matthias Sammer

Listen, I love Sammer and so does the DFB — as far as the reports are concerned, he has emerged the favourite, but here is where things may go wrong.

  1. Sammer and Hansi Flick are not on good terms. Reportedly, this has to do with Sammer’s ‘controlling tendencies’, which both Flick and Joachim Löw did not like from Sammer’s tenure as the Sporting Director earlier. Flick’s position with the DFB does not look all that great either, but nothing is certain as of now.
  2. Sammer thinks Lothar Matthäus should become the sporting director at DFB... more on what I think about Matthäus in the next section.

Lothar Matthaüs

As the resident Lothar Matthäus (the player)’s superfan, I do not want him at the DFB. Not as the sporting director, not as a technical director, hell, not even as the assistant coach.

Matthäus’ coaching career was... not great and he isn’t the best with interpersonal relationships. His opinions check the boxes of both highly radical and horribly poor — I especially found myself doing a double take when he said insinuated that Thilo Kehrer must play and at right-back.

I have said this already but West Ham only won when Kehrer was on neither the pitch, nor the bench, but I digress.

Besides, I rather enjoy the 61-year-old’s column at Sky for it provides me with the absurdity that will keep me fueled for the rest of the week.

Ralf Rangnick

The man coaches Austria, why is he on this list?

“B-but Muller_Era, we need your take!”

While Rangnick has experience, vision and leadership qualities, he’s not the one. Germany may not be as bad as Manchester United was, but if anything at all, Rangnick is not very good with saving sinking ships.

Thomas Hitzlsperger

Hitzlsperger has good opinions, but I highly doubt he will be given the position end of the day — he simply does not have enough experience.

Twitter is already going insane, insinuating that Hitzlsperger was only on the list for his sexual orientation, and that the DFB plans on staying ‘political’. I say, let people exist.

You just received a taste of Muller_Era’s radical takes that could make Matthäus blush.

“Who do you actually want then?”

Let’s be fair, Matthias Sammer is the best of the options presented above. His experience and leadership puts him above everyone else in the list. But, for all the fans of Germany, I warn you, we’re in for a rough ride, incase you have not already realized. So buckle up, buy some tissues and get ready for a new era.

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