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Tinfoil Hat Theory: Jersey math could add up to Marcel Sabitzer moving to Bayern Munich

Could there be an announcement coming at Bayern Munich? Put on your tinfoil hat and explore with us.

Borussia Mönchengladbach v FC Bayern München - Bundesliga Photo by Christian Verheyen/Borussia Moenchengladbach via Getty Images

For those of you hoping to log on to Bayern Munich’s website in hopes of getting a brand, spanking new third-kit with Michael Cuisance’s name and number, you are going to be disappointed.

Twitter account @iMiaSanMia noted that Cuisance’s third-jersey was not a selectable option on the site. Sure, you can still get a custom one made up…but what number would you get? Cuisance’s old #11 is now being worn by Kingsley Coman.

Most recently, Cuisance wore #17 — Jerome Boateng’s old number — but things could be changing:

The tweet, however, was taken down. We did our own crack research and found no Cuisance third jersey on the site — as of 10:00AM EST.

But why?

Is Cuisance on the verge of a move? Maybe.

Was it just one of those pesky oversights that can happen within a system? Perhaps.

(Puts on tinfoil hat with BFW staffers)

Or maybe…just maybe…this is a sign that RB Leipzig’s Marcel Sabitzer will be joining Bayern Munich sooner rather than later. Come enter the world of “jersey math” with us:

  • Cuisance wears #17 for Bayern Munich
  • Sabitzer wears #7 for RB Leipzig
  • Gnabry also wears #7 for Bayern Munich
  • Cuisance gets ghosted by Bayern Munich’s team store
  • Sabitzer signs and wears #17 for Bayern Munich

Will this happen? I don’t know.

Could this happen? Uh, why not?

There you have it, a “Tinfoil Hat Theory” on why Sabitzer is close to signing with Bayern Munich.

If you really want that Cuisance mountain kit, though, you could create your own custom jersey. Bear in mind, however, there are some limitations on lettering when you do this:

I was trying to get “Mrs. Grealish” on their to send to a “friend”, but had to settle for “Ms.Grealish” due to spacing requirements.

(This is still the most ridiculous image to come out of world football in years)

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