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Daily Schmankerl: A “farewell scenario” for Robert Lewandowski at Bayern Munich that includes Erling Haaland?; Borussia Mönchengladbach scoping Khvicha Kvaratskhelia?; The Old Trafford Takeover; and MORE!

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Here we go! A week with an actual game! Let’s do it!

Champions League: Real Madrid vs Bayern Munich Photo by Andreas Gebert/picture alliance via Getty Images

The conditions where Bayern would allow Lewandowski to bolt (Abendzeitung)

For many (including the author), the thought of Robert Lewandowski bolting Bayern Munich almost seems laughable at this point.

With the Polish Hitman’s contract due up for an extension soon, however, Pini Zahavi has started the media crusade to insist the 33-year-old could leave Bavaria. This, of course, is all part of the negotiating process for Zahavi, who is masterfully — if not artificially — creating a market for his client.

The latest story centers on the possibility that Bayern Munich would be okay with Lewandowski finding a new home — if they can secure an adequate replacement...like, say, Borussia Dortmund’s Erling Haaland:

The farewell scenario looks like this: Lewandowski leaves Bavaria in the summer of 2022 for a high transfer fee, his contract runs until 2023. For this, the Pole receives more than the around 20 million annual salary that he earned at Bayern at the new club in the category of Real Madrid or Paris St.-Germain. Advisor Zahavi, whom Uli Hoeneß once called a “greedy piranha” and who also represents David Alaba, who is leaving Bayern for Real, would receive a nice commission. And then Bayern have financial means to sign Lewy’s successor.

Incidentally, this would also be the condition for the Munich team: Lewandowski would only be sold if a top replacement was available. Definitely not this summer, but maybe in 2022. Much has to do with the plans of Erling Haaland (20). “We can imagine many things,” said Haaland advisor Mino Raiola to the Spanish newspaper “AS.” Dortmund’s current position is that it wants to keep Haaland at least for the coming season. “But I have a different position, I think if there is a good opportunity and everyone is happy, we will put it on the table,” he added.

If this sounds like a Zahavi-Raiola unintentional (or maybe intentional) team-up...you might be on to something (Editor’s note: I would have nicknamed them the Ambiguously Gray Duo, but Zahavi has like four gallons of brown paint dumped on to his head):

BVB managing director Hans-Joachim Watzke and sports director Michael Zorc had recently reacted calmly to all rumors and declared that they would not sell Haaland. “Now you have to see if this wish remains until September 1st,” said Raiola. “14 big clubs want him. Now the important thing is to find out what the best option is.”

Haaland has a contract with BVB until 2024, but thanks to an exit clause he can move ahead of schedule in 2022. To Bavaria?

So...what does this all really mean? Zahavi is going to try and get Lewandowski the best deal from Bayern Munich he can by leveraging interest from other clubs, while Raiola is trying to drive up interest in Haaland by leveraging everyone’s fear that the Norwegian might actually want to stay in the Bundesliga and play for the Bavarians if Lewandowski leaves.

Below is just a GIF of me trying to convince you all of the grand “super-agent” conspiracy:

M’Gladbach eyeing rumored Bayern target (Transfer Market Web)

Borussia Mönchengladbach could be eyeing up a run at rumored Bayern Munich target Khvicha Kvaratskhelia:

Possibly leaving Rubin Kazan on an about 15 million euros transfer fee, Georgian international winger Khvicha Kvaratskhelia (20), according to latest German news, is growing into a major target for Borussia Monchengladbach. Allegedly closer and closer to join Bundesliga side, the 2001-born is also tracked by Bayern Munich, Juventus, AC Milan, and Leeds United.

While Kvaratskhelia is admittedly a very intriguing prospect (see below), I am scared to death of having to spell that name on a daily basis:

Gentleman’s agreement to allow Sancho to leave BVB? (Sky)

Could Borussia Dortmund have a handshake agreement in place with Jadon Sancho, which would allow him to leave without much consternation this summer? It looks like it:

Could Jadon Sancho leave Borussia Dortmund this summer because of a “gentleman’s agreement”? Dortmund chief Michael Zorc has given fresh hope to Manchester United of luring the England international after their failed pursuit last year - but reiterated his hands-off warning over Erling Haaland for now.

“We already had a gentlemen’s agreement with Jadon last year that he can switch under certain conditions,” sporting director Zorc told ARD. “He’s been with us for a couple of years. However, this agreement does not exist with Erling.”

Meyer likely to move on from Köln (Transfer Market Web)

Alleged Hansi Flick transfer target Max Meyer is “unlikely” to stay with FC Köln and reportedly has drawn interest from Union Berlin:

Signed by FC Köln in late January, 25-year-old German attacking midfielder Max Meyer is unlikely to be offered an extension. Former Crystal Palace and Schalke 04 playmaker has recently been linked to a Union Berlin inquiry.

Could Bayern Munich be interested in a cheap flier on a former prized talent who has fallen upon hard times?

Barca to drop Griezmann? (Transfer Market Web)

FC Barcelona could count Antoine Griezmann among the players it will look to cut loose this summer:

After a couple underwhelming seasons, cutting his market worth in half, French international winger/forward Antoine Griezmann (30) might be leaving Barcelona FC already, in spite of three years left on his ongoing contract.

Former Atletico Madrid star might be joining Colchoneros back indeed, while previous suitors of his, such as Inter Milan, Chelsea, Manchester United, and PSG, could be back tracking him indeed.

Old Trafford Takeover (Bavarian Football Works)

The scenes from Old Trafford yesterday were wild. If you missed our story, check it out here. Otherwise, here are some of more lighthearted (aka, non-violent clashes division) moments: