Bayern Munich future CEO Oliver Kahn scoffs at Erling Haaland rumors

Bayern Munich CEO Oliver Kahn has heard the rumors.

In fact, Kahn has heard so many different whispers that his club will make a run at Borussia Dortmund star Erling Haaland, that he felt the need to speak to Sport Bild (as captured by Twitter account @iMiaSanMia) to detail why such a move will not happen.

“Sorry, whoever speaks about that didn’t understand the situation yet,” said Kahn. “A package that costs — as we heard — over €100m is unimaginable for FC Bayern at the moment.”

At the moment? So you’re saying there’s a chance?

Uh, maybe not...and the primary reason is the excellent form of Bayern Munich star Robert Lewandowski.

“Robert still has a two-year contract here,” said Kahn. “His performances cannot be questioned. He’s scored 39 goals so far! Just for that, we don’t have to think about Haaland, today. Robert can keep this level for a few more years.”

You don’t have to think about Haaland today, eh? (I kid, I kid)...