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Daily Schmankerl: Manchester City planning coup for Erling Haaland and Lionel Messi; Mino Raiola meets with FC Barcelona on Haaland, but won’t meet with Bayern Munich; Thomas Müller’s philosophy on jokes; and MORE!

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Here we go! One more day until Bayern Munich faces off with RB Leipzig.

Montenegro v Norway - FIFA World Cup 2022 Qatar Qualifier Photo by Filip Filipovic/Getty Images

City wants Haaland and Messi (The Sun)

While Bayern Munich is allegedly not in the running for Borussia Dortmund’s Erling Haaland, Manchester City has dreams of landing Haaland and FC Barcelona star Lionel Messi:

MANCHESTER CITY are still keeping tabs on Lionel Messi — as they prepare to move for Erling Haaland. Spanish reports claim that the Premier League leaders have pulled the plug on their pursuit of the Nou Camp legend.

But SunSport understands that is not the case and Messi has not ruled out a move to the Etihad, either. He remains on City boss Pep Guardiola’s list of potential targets for the close season, along with Aston Villa’s £100million-rated captain Jack Grealish.

Haaland’s club Borussia Dortmund do not want to sell and sporting director Michael Zorc said: “We signed Erling almost a year and a half ago and are still planning firmly with him.” Other names linked to City include Spurs star Harry Kane and Inter Milan pair Romelu Lukaku and Lautaro Martinez.

If not City then who? Barca maybe (@FabrizioRomano)

According to Fabrizio Romano, Haaland’s agent Mino Raiola has start his campaign to eventually secure Haaland a mega-deal:

After the meeting, Romano reported that things went well:

The other clubs involved in the Haaland Sweepstakes will not include Bayern Munich per Romano:

The fun times did not end in Barcelona either. Apparently Raiola and the elder Haaland his Madrid as well (as captured by Sport Bild):

After the Barça meeting there was a meeting with Los Blancos in Madrid! This was reported by the Spanish media “AS”, “Marca” and the radio station “Cadena Cope”. The meeting in Spain’s capital with the Real management team around President Florentino Perez is said to have started at 4 p.m.

These images may disturb you (@brfootball)

This just doesn’t look right!

We see you working Wolfsburg (@VfLWolfsburg_EN)

I like the effort.

Müller discusses his joke success rate targets (@goal)

Thomas Müller does not expect every joke to land, in fact, he is okay when they don’t:

This is a fantastic goal (@bayer04_en)

Bayer Leverkusen 17-year-old Chiara Bücher ripped off this screamer: