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Daily Schmankerl: Douglas Costa probably not leaving Bayern Munich; Max Meyer to Hoffenheim?; Zlatan Ibrahimovich is a legend; Breel Embolo’s coffee shop party with “lightly-dressed women” (?!); and MORE!

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How in the world do Bayern Munich, getting busy in a Burger King bathroom, and Zlatan all merge into one blog post? Find out in today’s Daily Schmankerl.

FC Bayern Muenchen v Lokomotiv Moskva: Group A - UEFA Champions League Photo by Roland Krivec/DeFodi Images via Getty Images

Costa to return to Juve during this window? (Gazetta)

I know this was kicked around in the comments of yesterday’s Schmankerl, but could Bayern Munich actually send Douglas Costa back to Juventus early?

The answer: maybe, but probably not.

A report out of Italy seems to think there is a possibility of Costa leaving Germany and potentially finding a new home before the transfer deadline ends:

In a normal season, in this transfer window, Douglas Costa would not be able to move except to return to Juventus. Having played the first two league games with the Bianconeri, the Brazilian could not wear the kit of a third club.

In reality, however, on the recommendation of FIFA, for only this season the players, given the particularity of the world situation, can play for three different teams. Douglas Costa’s problem, however, is his salary: he gets 6 million net a year, a figure that few clubs in the world are willing to guarantee. Even in the middle of the season (and therefore with only half the salary to pay), at the moment it is difficult to find clubs able to satisfy him.

So...a couple of things:

  1. The report is sketchy at best in terms of Costa actually leaving Bayern Munich.
  2. Finding another club to take on Costa’s salary in this financial climate seems “unlikely” at best.
  3. In a perfect world, this would happen and that Don Balon rumor about Ivan Perisic going back to Bayern Munich would happen as well.

Everybody would win. Costa gets a new home, Perisic gets back to a place that values him, and Bayern gets a suitable and dependable sub for its trio of oft-injured wingers.

For all of that to happen, though, we need Don Balon and Gazzetta to be on-point.

(Looks around aimlessly, shrugs, does shot of Ol’ Grandad, and gets back to writing the rest of the Schmankerl)

Hoffenheim eyeing Meyer (@Plettigoal)

After an unceremonious exit from Crystal Palace, Max Meyer has drawn interest from FC Köln and Hoffenheim:

Hoffenheim is already bringing in Angelo Stiller for next season, so a total makeover for the squad’s midfield could be on the menu for 2021/2022.

Meyer, of course, can immediately join whoever signs him given his free agent status.

Zlatan is amazing (@brfootball)

Zlatan Ibrahimovich is a legend for so many reasons, but scoring a goal in every season since 1999 (I graduated from college that year!) is absolutely astonishing:

In typical Zlatan fashion, he also broke the news that Mario Mandzukic would finally be signing with AC Milan:

And, yes, this is the part where I say Bayern Munich should have signed Mandzukic last summer.

Embolo’s party busted (Bild)

Bild ran a report that Borussia Monchengladbach forward Breel Embolo was seen partying with some scantily clad women. If these fine ladies were exotic dancers, does that make Embolo the Dwayne Haskins of the Bundesliga? People are asking:

So...I watched Bild’s video report and he did this at a local pub, so if things did get freaky in there, I guess it would not be totally out of the ordinary.

When in doubt, though, we must all harken back to the wise words of the great 20th century philosopher Humpty Hump, who often waxed poetic about how he “once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.”

Cafe Extrablatt, assuredly, has to have better ambience than that.

Anyway, Breel...if you need a retort to these claims, just tell them, “Step off, I’m doin’ the Hump!”

You can all thank me later for implanting that in your head for the rest of the day. If you somehow don’t know the Humpty Dance, well, “Stop whatcha doin’, ‘cause I’m about to ruin, the image and the style that ya used to...”

Goatriozola is a wanted man (Transfer Market Web)

Real Madrid outside-back Alvaro Odriozola — a Bayern Munich treble-winner, you know — is once again likely headed away from Los Blancos:

Possibly leaving Real Madrid again, once more on a loan spell, Spanish right-back Alvaro Odriozola (25) has allegedly been targeted by AC Milan, PSG, Athletic Bilbao, Tottenham, and Borussia Dortmund. Currently on a deal with Blancos until June 2024, former Bayern Munich and Real Sociedad player is tracked by Fiorentina as well.

Good luck to Odriozola wherever he lands.

ICYMI: Jovic is back in full force (@Bundesliga_EN)

It is great to see Luka Jovic back in the Bundesliga with Eintracht Frankfurt. Jovic did not waste any time in re-establishing himself in Germany. After entering Die Adler’s match against Schalke 04 in the 62nd minute, the 23-year-old scored twice (72’ and 90+1’) to secure a win for what is looking like a very capable Eintracht Frankfurt squad: