Daily Schmankerl: Zidane wants Kimmich, Bayern and Inter near deal for Perisic, Werner cannot play for Chelsea in the UCL, and much more!

“Joshua Kimmich is Zinedine Zidane’s great wish for the white core” (Don Balon)

Perhaps Joshua Kimmich’s media presence and highlights are less spectacular than one would wish for a Galactico, but that does not deter the great Zinedine Zidane from viewing Bayern Munich’s midfield motor as his prime target and Real Madrid’s the next grand transfer coup — at least in the estimation of the most reliable sports paper in Spain:

Joshua Kimmich is Zidane’s great wish for the white core, despite the fact that his departure is very complicated.

Yes, even the Don acknowledges that it would be difficult. “The player has a contract running through 2023 and his departure is estimated at €70m. Even so, nothing is impossible for Florentino Pérez.” Here is the plan:

Madrid have few options to convince Bayern Munich to let go of what is possibly, even ahead of Robert Lewandowski, the team’s most important player, but nonetheless are some. The most obvious and effective, even more so in the middle of the world crisis due to the coronavirus, is a player trade, where the white club can play with two names in the open and one in secret.

I’m intrigued: pray tell, Don, who? The two obvious candidates are of course Gareth Bale and James Rodriguez! “Gareth Bale is indeed of interest,” the Don says, “but his high wages make things difficult.” And alas James Rodriguez failed to convince Bayern already once.

But Zidane has a backup plan: Marco Asensio! He has been “one of Madrid’s most important players despite his long injury.”

Lifeless BVB capitulate to Mainz 2-0

Take a look at the grim write-up at Fear the Wall by our friend Sean Keyser. Not BVB’s most glorious day by a long shot...

Elsewhere yesterday, Kevin Kampl and Timo Werner scored beautiful goals for RB Leipzig, but Fortuna Düsseldorf roared back to part ways with the Saxons with a 2-2 draw. Kai Havertz scored yet again for Bayer Leverkusen as they beat FC Köln 3-1.

I thought Kampl’s goal was really nice:

And finally, Schalke lost yet again — this time 2-1 to Eintracht Frankfurt. My thoughts on that game:

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Perisic’s purchase option expired, but Bayern still will buy (Calciomercato)

Bayern Munich’s option to sign Ivan Perisic permanently from Inter Milan for €20 million expired on May 15, but Bayern, Inter, and Perisic himself are all in agreement on “a future colored red and white” for the Croatian winter, per Calciomercato.

Ivan is happy in Munich, and the feeling on Bayern’s board is mutual. They have simply held out for a better price from Inter for the 31-year-old. The original sum was fixed before the world had even heard of COVID-19, which turned the transfer market upside down.

Karl-Heinz Rummenigge is also counting on his personal relationship with Inter CEO Giuseppe Marotta to pave the way. Although Tottenham Hotspur has also inquired about Perisic, they are unlikely to land him.

Boateng missed Paulaner shoot for transfer (Bild)

One of the “nine secrets” advertised in the latest print edition of Sport Bild was that Jerome Boateng came extremely close to transferring to Juventus Turin last fall. You may have noticed that he was not present in Bayern’s annual Paulaner photoshoot:

Photo by Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images for Paulaner

The reason? He was asked not to attend it, because he was about to transfer to Juventus. Bayern and Juve had reached an agreement on a loan. In lieu of a transfer fee, Juventus would have simply paid Boateng’s salary. But coach Maurizio Sarri (not sarri) nixed the deal at the last minute, and so Boateng stayed — much to our great good fortune!

Kingsley Coman: one player, 24 years old, 17 trophies

No, Werner won’t play against Bayern for Chelsea (kicker)

The UEFA executive committee finally got around to deciding what to do with players like Timo Werner who (we presume) will shortly transfer to Chelsea FC in the Premier League before the Champions League resumes. Bayern Munich may feel very confident of beating Chelsea at home in Munich, but still they would rather torch the Blues without the Bundesliga’s second-top scorer there to help them.

UEFA has now officially declared that new signings cannot play in the delayed final rounds of the 2019/20 Champions League for their new employer. Ergo, neither Werner will play for Chelsea nor our dear Leroy Sané play for Bayern Munich once the Champions League finally — of course, if those transfers actually happen.

Kwasi Wriedt scores a hat-trick as Bayern II torches SV Meppen 5-1

Henrichs to RB Leipzig (Sport Bild)

Former Bayer Leverkusen right-back, Benjamin Henrichs will very probably transfer from AS Monaco to RB Leipzig this summer. Henrichs, still only 23 years old, has been frank about his wish to return to the Bundesliga after leaving Leverkusen in 2018. Henrichs had been linked to Bayern briefly, in light of their interest in a right-back.

This is Leipzig’s second go at signing him. Sport Bild reports that they were ready to pay up to €20 million for him in this past winter window (Monaco wanted €38). Sport Bild suggests a loan with an option to buy.

Lol City

Lol Arsenal — David Luiz in 2014 form!

But wait, there’s more!

Lol Premier League VAR

Get Müller’d!

“Turn up!”

“Defense wins championships” — Jerome Boateng

Forza Napoli!

We’re not the only club where things improved post-Ancelotti!

I missed practice because I was abducted by aliens (ESPN)

Seriously.