Daily Schmankerl: Neuer “not at all clear,” Coutinho’s agent rules him out, Hargreaves talks about Bayern Fight Club, and Hudson-Odoi arrested

Extension for Neuer “not at all clear,” only details remain for Thiago and Alaba (kicker, AZ)

Per the Monday edition of kicker, Bayern Munich’s front office is on the cusp of finalizing contract extensions for Thiago, David Alaba, and Manuel Neuer. Kicker said,

“After contract extensions of Hansi Flick, Thomas Müller, Alphonso Davies, and future assistant coach Miroslav Klose (previously U-17), the collaboration with Thiago, David Alaba, and Manuel Neuer will presumably be extended long-term beyond the summer of 2021.”

Karl-Heinz Rummenigge commented the game against Union that he was optimistic about reaching an agreement with the team captain: “Concerning Manuel Neuer, we are in good talks. I’m cautiously optimistic that Manuel will accept FC Bayern’s offer in the near future.”

Rummenigge echoed an earlier statement to the effect that Neuer knows what he has at Bayern. “We are both satisfied,” Rummenigge said. “Manuel Neuer knows what he has in FC Bayern and FC Bayern knows what it has in Manuel Neuer. Therefore it is a marriage that will remain intact in the future.”

Neuer himself, however, seemed less confident of an imminent agreement. Neuer said (AZ), “I’m happy to play for FC Bayern and the club is also happy to have me as goalkeeper. Hence we’re both optimistic — but it is not at all clear yet.”

Alphonso Davies tracks back like the wind

My favorite episode from Bayern Munich’s game against Union Berlin was a familiar scene: an attack catches a defender too far up the pitch, and Bayern scramble back in panic.

That defender? Alphonso Davies. “Scrambling” does not quite describe how he tracks back. Check it out:

FIFA is going to have to redo their pace stat, because this guy’s is off the charts.

Owen Hargreaves talks about Bavarian Fight Club (The Mirror)

We don’t talk about it, but some of our most popular stories ever have been filed under the “Bavarian Fight Club” label. Former Bayern Munich star Owen Hargreaves now has dared talk about it! Hargreaves assured his audience that FC Hollywood was deadly serious. “Believe me, it’s no soap opera. It is ­super-competitive.”

He explained how, in his day, Bayern’s competitive culture played out as a battle between young and old:

“We used to kick off all the time. There would be fights and altercations every day because it is a very competitive environment. Creating competition for places is how Bayern operate. I remember when I first went into the first team, it was very much the young against the old.I remember Hitzfeld pulled me aside and said, ‘Owen, the only way this works is if they hate you. If they hate you, it means you are doing really well.’”

Hargreaves told a particularly amusing anecdote about Bayern legend and now commentator Stefan Effenberg:

“Effenberg kicked me every day for about six months. He’d kick me, then lift me back up and I didn’t say a word. After about six months, Stefan said to me, ‘You know what, Owen, you’re all right. You’ve earned the right to be one of us.’”

Coutinho’s Bundesliga adventure probably over, agent says (Bild)

Philippe Coutinho’s agent Kia Joorabchian gave a sober assessment of his client’s chances of playing for Bayern Munich again. Joorabchian told TalkSport, “He’s out of commission on account of the injury. He has to recover for a month and a half and will probably miss the rest of the Bundesliga season entirely.”

Coutinho had an operation on his ankle almost a month ago and was expected to need at least six weeks to recover. At present, the season is predicted to conclude on June 27, roughly nine weeks after Coutinho’s initial injury.

Callum Hudson-Odoi arrested after model guest calls police and ambulance (The Sun)

Erstwhile Bayern Munich target Callum Hudson-Odoi is making new friends in interesting ways and in interesting places despite the coronavirus crisis. Hudson-Odoi was hauled in by the police after a female visitor at his home called both them and an ambulance at 4:00 AM in the morning.

Hudson-Odoi had met the woman online earlier that evening. After exchanging a few suggestive messages, Hudson-Odoi invited her over — and asked her to wear lingerie.

Hudson-Odoi tested positive for the coronavirus in March, but has presumably recovered from the disease.

His female companion, however, became “unwell” and all hell broke loose. After the police arrived, the woman was taken to the hospital and Hudson-Odoi was arrested. Another five officers apparently showed up the next afternoon to conduct a search.

Two men climb tree to watch Union vs Bayern

Although the German public behaved exemplarily this weekend while ghost games were held in vacant stadiums, there were still a few rule-breakers. First and foremost, the two men who climbed a tree to catch a live glimpse of Union Berlin host Bayern Munich. Here’s one of them caught on camera:

The fan pictured was hailed down by the police, but he will face no other punishment than a Platzverweis — ejection from the pitch!