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Bavarian FIFA Works - The one where we talk about New Wave bands

The first half banter about 80’s alt leads to some funny things happening.

The Smiths Photo by Ross Marino/Getty Images

Get ready for all of the 80’s Alternative references.

Virtual Bayern Munich was coming to the end of their first Englische Woche of the season with the UCL last game and this upcoming match against TSG 1899 Hoffenheim.

And just as we were getting ready to start, Chuck Smith says that he decided to stop playing his 80’s Alternative Playlist which had shuffled to “Hold Me Now” by the Thompson Twins.

Now I, as the child of two kids of the 80’s, grew up listening to 80’s and New Wave Alt that I now use it as studying music because it helps me focus. This led to an entire half where I had the audience put out names of 80’s and New Wave Alternative bands for me to react to.

This is important for two reasons: 1) I keep talking about 80’s bands in the start of the match and the audience may not have seen where that started.

And 2) as a result, Hoffenheim scored first.

BuLi MD 7 - Bayern Munich vs. Hoffenheim

Bayern Munich (4-2-3-1)


Sané - Müller - Gnabry

Thiago - Goretzka

Alaba - Hernandez - Süle - Kimmich


Most of our starters return, given they have the international break coming up after this game.

TSG 1899 Hoffenheim (4-3-3)

Cabral - Belfodil - Villalba

Grillitsch - Samassékou - Rudy

Brenet - Hübner - Bičkačić - Kaderábek


A side lacking firepower after Kramarić left suffers a lot this season, currently sitting 17th.

So the match starts! Doesn’t really seem like it, because all I’m doing is naming off New Wave bands I like and everyone in the chat is mentioning. It gets a bit too distracting because...

35’ GOAL from Jovane Cabral (FCB 0:1 TSG)

As I said, Villalba’s counter attack was a 3-on-2 situation where all of our defenders kinda slowed down at the top of the box. Villalba’s cross runs long to Cabral who cleanly puts it past Manuel Neuer to give Hoffenheim the lead. It just makes me wonder...What have I, What have I, What have I done to deserve this.

So we went into half time needing to solve two things: 1) the situation with the lineup 2) I needed to finish off my list of by top 5 favorite New Wave bands so I could focus

So, I made a list and then after the game, I made changes to the list. What can I say? The game clouded my consciousness.

Jake’s Definitive 80’s Alt Band List

Honorable Mentions: The B-52’s, Simple Minds, Men at Work, Devo

5. Tears For Fears / Depeche Mode

4. Echo & the Bunnymen

3. Talking Heads

2. Joy Division/New Order (basically the same band R.I.P. Ian Curtis)

1. The Smiths

So now, that’s done and settled. Back to the footy.

Halftime Substitution: Robert Lewandowski for Thiago Alcantara

We needed something of an offensive spark and Thiago was a little too tired. So, Lewy goes right up top with Timo right behind him and Müller takes over for Thiago’s anchor midfield role. It’s not pretty, but we have almost no backup central midfielders at this point. But, we really need offense, and when we need that Lewandowski is always...The Cure.

52’ GOAL from Timo Werner (FCB 1:1 TSG)

A great linkup pass from Goretzka finds Lewandowski at the top of the box. He dumps it off to a Werner running into space on the right, Timo shoots it across the goal and it kinda dribbles over the line. Not pretty, but...I think it’s just what I needed (just what I needed).

66’ SUBSTITUTION: Alphonso Davies for Thomas Muller

Alaba takes over in central defense for an exhausted Müller, while Davies comes on to help our defense. Müller may not have liked it, but he won’t complain, because...Boys Don’t Cry.

75’ GOAL from Leroy Sané (FCB 2:1 TSG)

A Werner through ball from the center circle finds its way to Sané breaking down the wings. He was able to cut inside and get in front of goal for a shot that was deflected by a Hoffenheim defender. The rebound fell in front of him and he was able to poke it home. He stayed cool, calm, and collected; and Leroy...That’s What I Like About You.

Hoffenheim had a few more chances after this, but none materialized and we picked up three points.

Match Awards

Jersey Swap - Jovane Cabral

The Cape Verdean forward did a bang up job scoring that goal. He also put in a decent game outside that, completing 70% of his dribbles and 78% of his passes. A great job, but his goal scoring celebration with his face taking up the whole camera is haunting.

Tip of the Cap - David Alaba

He was played out of position for a majority of the second half, but he stood up to the challenge. Alaba completed all 17 of his attempted passes and went 16/17 on dribbling.

Golf Clap - Robert Lewandowski

The only downside to his game was that he didn’t register a single shot. Otherwise, he bagged and assist and finished with 5/5 passing. A good, but not outstanding outing for the elder Polish statesman of this team.

Standing Ovation - Leroy Sané

It’s been a while since we saw Sané’s name on the goal sheet, and it’s a great sight to see. 8/9 passing is great, but the 9/12 dribbling mark needs some work.

“This Charming” Man of the Match - Timo Werner

Had to get in a Smiths reference.

Timo does amazing yet again, pushing his name further into the starting conversation. He bagged himself a goal and a questionable assist (FIFA credits him, but if the initial shot was saved, it’s not an assist) to walk out with a 9.3 match rating. His 5/6 shot on goal rating wasn’t too shabby either. Add to that a 100% for passes and 78% dribbling, and he deserves his Man of the Match award.

And that’s it! Hope the 80’s references didn’t kill you too much. We stream on Thursday at 11:00am ET, so we’ll see you then!

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