Bavarian FIFA Works - Double the Luck, Double the Trouble on St. Paddy’s Day

Happy day after St. Patrick’s Day Bayern Munich fans. It’s been a tumultuous day for me, and with Tom Brady leaving New England, I have a lot of reasons to drink.

Before we get into the blog, we have a big announcement! Our first livestream will take place on March 19th at 12:00pm Eastern time. It should be shorter than a normal one, because we’re only doing the DFL Supercup, but it should be fun nonetheless!

Meanwhile, virtual Bayern Munich has two major announcements to make!

Photo by TF-Images/TF-Images via Getty Images

Bayern Munich Signs Leroy Sané from Manchester City in a Swap Deal

That’s right, I said it. A swap deal. Once I got the green light from you guys to sell Corentin Tolisso, I knew the money wouldn’t be enough to buy the two players we wanted to. But, Tolisso’s contract and value were perfect enough to entice Pep Guardiola to come to the Säbener Strasse and to agree to a deal for Tolisso + €64 million for Leroy Sané. Sané took a pay cut coming to Bavaria, now earning only €140k per week.

Pat me on the back, I’m a transfer god.

Bayern Munich Signs Timo Werner from RB Leipzig for €84.2 Million

That sound you hear in the distance is Chuck Smith celebrating.

It took a lot of haggling with Julian Naglesmann who initially wanted to bankrupt us by demanding €92 million for Werner’s services. We worked him down to a still noxious €84 million, but I don’t do what I think is right, I answer to The Nerds (a.k.a. you guys). He signs a 5 year contract at €110k per week.

Also, I told you nerds to not go ahead and ruin the club financially and look what you did. We have only €449,099 left in the bank (that’s thousands). Our current Weekly Wage bill is over €2.5 million. We’re going down the drain fast.

Shocking Development(s) of The Day

I feel compelled to just reject these right away, but idk, you all thought it was a good idea to get rid of Thomas Müller so I don’t even know you all anymore.

This is honestly our only decision of the day. We obviously have no transfer budget left to buy anyone, but if these two get sold that problem goes away immediately.

Polls close at 5:00 pm Eastern time. Choose wisely nerds. Also, be sure to drop your lineup suggestions down below for the Supercup.