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My Probably (okay, certainly) Bad Take: Thomas Muller is overrated

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The #MullerMafia is about to get triggered!

FC Bayern Muenchen v VfL Wolfsburg - Bundesliga Photo by M. Donato/FC Bayern via Getty Images

At Bavarian Football Works, we are using this midseason break to expose ourselves (phrasing!). When working on Bayern Munich news and opinions on 24x7x365 basis, the entire staff develops some very good — and some very, very bad — takes. Whether these takes are relevant to past, present, or future opinions, we are going to let you in on some of the stupid things we think as part of a series. Without further ado, BFW will let is all hang out (damn it! phrasing again!).


My Probably (okay, certainly) Bad Take: Thomas Muller is overrated

Where do I begin with Thomas Muller? Well, for starters, his pace is absolutely nonexistent. You try to go down the wing with him on FIFA, and he won’t be a match for even the slowest full backs. Heck, he’s probably slower than me, and I’m a goalkeeper.

Another thing, his physique resembles that of a newborn giraffe or deer, so you can’t play him as a center forward, otherwise the opposing defense will break him. As a winger? You could pit him against Philipp Lahm (who’s about two heads shorter) and he’ll still topple over like a bowling pin.

Oh, and his touch as well. Going back to FIFA, it takes him two meters to control a throw from Manuel Neuer (albeit a pretty hard throw), which lets the opposition dispossess him, counter, and possibly score. What good is that?

All in all, Thomas Muller is one of the most overrated players in the history of the game. There’s a reason he wears the number 25, and not a cooler one like 7, 10, or whatever.