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Barcelona may sell Marc Andre ter Stegen to Bayern Munich due to financial problems

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While this is an actual report by a real media organization, please don't take it seriously.

Barcelona v Bayern Munich - UEFA Champions League Quarter Final Photo by Manu Fernandez/Pool via Getty Images

Make sure you're sitting down before reading this. According to Todo Fichajes (via AS), Barcelona may be forced to sell goalkeeper Marc Andre ter Stegen due to their financial situation. The destination mentioned is none other than Bayern Munich.

I'll give you a moment to laugh.

Alright, moment's over. Back to insanity. According to the report, Barcelona desperately need to reduce their wage bill, so they want to sell ter Stegen to Bayern as a replacement for Manuel Neuer. The fee quoted is around €80 million euros — the Catalans are presumably charging €10m for each goal that MAtS conceded against Bayern in August.

To his credit, the 28-year-old eternal-understudy has shown some skill that would warrant such an outlay. He's shown to be capable of making perfectly weighted passes straight to the feet of Bayern’s forwards in the Champions League, which is more than Neuer’s ever done — oh wait, Neuer does that too sometimes, but from the other side of the pitch. Anyway, Ter Stegen has plenty of experience sitting behind the Bayern captain on the bench during his German NT career, so the move to Bayern would not come as a massive adjustment. Jogi Löw once again comes out as an unsung hero in this saga, as he was prepping MAtS for this move all along.

Frankly, the report gets it a bit wrong, since Ter Stegen wouldn't be a replacement for Neuer, but a replacement for Sven Ulreich, who transferred to HSV this summer. Alex Nübel? Who's that? Never heard of him.