In a surprise Deadline Day move — after announcing a bevy of signings — Bayern Munich has signed former Arsenal FC mascot Gunnersaurus. The veteran dinosaur will join Bayern’s reserve team, FC Bayern II, playing in the 3.Liga.
“Arsenal’s COVID-19 cuts have claimed another victim in the shape of dinosaur mascot Gunnersaurus,” David Ornstein reported. The lovable dinosaur, who has stomped about the Arsenal since he was first excavated in 1993, was “let go as part of the club’s ongoing streamlining process.”
Bayern Munich sporting director Hasan Salihamidzic told the media that Bayern was excited to bring in an experienced veteran to lift spirits for the club on the sidelines of the youth team’s pitch at Säbener Strasse.
Salihamidzic said, “FC Bayern is committed to developing our youth players, and experienced veterans like Gunnersaurus help create the nourishing atmosphere that we want to prevail at the FC Bayern Campus. We are excited to announce the signing of Gunnersaurus, who will begin training with FC Bayern II immediately and provide depth behind Berni on the first team.”
Gunnersaurus himself is excited for his new adventure in Germany. He told Bavarian Football Works in a statement, “I’m excited to move across the Channel to Munich, where I will be training alongside my old friend Berni and helping FC Bayern II develop into professional players in a positive environment.”
Berni himself played no small part in the transfer. The brown bear said, “I’m thrilled I was able to persuade my friend Gunnersaurus to join FC Bayern Munich. We will have a lot of fun together.”
“It wasn’t hard to convince him to join,” Berni continued. “Gunnersaurus knows from first-hand experience that Bayern hosts awesome BBQs, and his very favorite player, Serge Gnabry, is already here!”
Gunnersaurus revealed that, while he was saddened by Arsenal’s decision to terminate his employment, “The initial news hit me like an asteroid. But after a weekend at Berni’s in Tegernsee, I realized extinction wasn’t for me. I have decided to start a new geological era in Munich. So I had my agent contact the club bosses, and the rest is prehistory!”
Servus, Gunnersaurus, and welcome to Munich! Mia san mia!