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Daily Schmankerl: Cristiano Ronaldo to outdo Messi with move to Bayern, Diego Demme to Napoli, Coutinho in training and MORE!

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CR7 will show everybody who’s boss by winning the Bundesliga with Bayern Munich! Now if only someone could inform Karl-Heinz Rummenigge that the club is buying him.

Juventus v Cagliari Calcio - Italian Serie A
“Look at me! I’m Robert Lewandowski!”
Photo by Mattia Ozbot/Soccrates/Getty Images

Cristiano Ronaldo to Bayern Munich! (Don Balon)

He’s baaaaack! The Don has the latest news, and it’s big. Alas and alack, Ronaldo’s Italian adventure is not living up to his expectations, or maybe it’s Juventus’ Ronaldo adventure? Regardless, all the chaos surrounding the Old Lady could lead CR7 “to a bomb destination”! Having missed out on the Ballon d’Or, Ronaldo can only do what Messi never can: play in yet another league:

The destination that the Juventus forward is now considering is German, namely Bayern Munich. The muniqueses [i.e. folks from Munich] want him to pair him with Robert Lewandowski and have the most effective attack in Europe, in addition to contending in every competition.

Of course Bayern would love to pay Juventus a big transfer fee to sign a 35-year-old Ronaldo next season! You know, rather than bring in Leroy Sané for the same position together with Kingsley Coman. I mean, if Ronaldo chooses Bayern to fulfill his megalomaniacal schemes, Bayern has to sign him, right?

Ronaldo stole the 2013 Ballon d’Or from Franck Ribery — now he can steal his old jersey number, too!

Good to see you again, Don. We missed you.

Watch Philippe Coutinho training in Doha (FCBayernTV)

This is a fun video to watch for footskills fans: see Phil Coutinho in action training in Doha. Most of the video consists of scenes from Bayern’s small-sided tournament. You can see Coutinho giving Chris Richards, Joshua Zirkzee, and even Alphonso Davies a hard time. And check out the wicked move he pulls on poor Ron-Thorben Hoffmann at 5:22.

Bayern put the small-sided tournament online, too:

You might not want to sit through the whole 15-minute video, but one thing the camera work really conveys well is how fast these guys play.

DFB youngster Robin Koch to Benfica? (Transfermarkt)

Fans of Germany were introduced to a new face in the last round of international friendlies, SC Freiburg center-back Robin Koch. Koch has played a great Hinrunde for Christian Streich’s plucky club from the Black Forest. A high point for him was undoubtedly his debut for Germany in October. Now he might be destined for a greater challenge. According to Record, and apparently independently confirmed by Transfermarkt, Benfica Lisbon has conveyed their interest in the player to Freiburg. They are lining up a potential move for him in the upcoming summer transfer window, not this winter.

Diego Demme leaves RB Leipzig for Napoli (SkySport Italia)

That came out of nowhere! According to multiple sources in Italy, and now also Bild and everyone else and their uncles, RB Leipzig’s starting midfielder Diego Demme has abruptly left the club to play for Gennaro Gattuso (Carlo Ancelotti’s successor) in Naples. Napoli will pay €12 million for Demme plus bonuses that could raise the total fee to €18 million. Demme will sign with Napoli through 2024.

Why Napoli? Bild points out that Demme himself has Italian citizenship and happens to be a Napoli fan. Now he can live out his dream to play in Italy much sooner than anyone expected.

Ignore the jersey — outside-of-the-foot goals are so cool (Luka Modrić)

Luka Modric’s career at Real Madrid may be winding down after his Ballon d’Or campaign in 2018, but the man is still incredible. By coincidence, I was going over how to pull off an effective stepover with my son tonight, and then Luka just puts it into practice before pulling off this audacious goal. Aw yeah!

Speak of the devil(s)

Sweet dreams.