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Daily Schmankerl: angry Neuer to Juventus, Klinsmann forgets his coaching license, Rafinha on standby for Bayern, and MORE!

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A loopy French report claims an angry Manuel Neuer might jet to Juventus, Jürgen Klinsmann forgot his coaching license back home, and everyone hates RB Leipzig.

FC Bayern Muenchen Doha Training Camp - Day 2

Neuer could leave Bayern Munich for Juventus (france football)

France football proposes to explain to its readers quite a scoop: Manuel Neuer could leave Bayern Munich this summer! The French publication has apparently just learned that Bayern has signed Alexander Nübel, and of course that means trouble. Without naming any sources, they quote Manuel Neuer as saying this in his “heated” conversation with Hasan Salihamidzic about the latter’s proposal that he give Nübel 15 games:

Out of the question! As long as I am here, I’ll play every match, no matter what competition, and even every friendly.

That sounds just like Neuer, doesn’t it? Except no one — not even Sport Bild, who broke the story — actually quoted Neuer verbatim. Apparently, in French, when you say someone “retorted” you can make up whatever you imagine they said — or just crib Sport Bild’s summary and pass it off as a quotation!

And to top it all off, they speculate that Juventus Turin could come calling for Neuer, since they are not completely satisfied with Wojciech Szczesny. Never mind that Bayern still intends to extend Neuer, and Neuer himself has said (like, really, actually said) that Nübel does not factor into his extension at all.

Rafinha: “If Bayern needs help, they can call me” (Bild)

It seems like yesterday that Rafinha bade Bayern Munich farewell to return to his native Brazil. He has enjoyed spectacular success there with Flamengo — joining an exclusive list of celebrated players who have won both the UEFA Champions League and the Copa Libertadores. But Rafinha told SportBild that he would return to Munich to help Bayern. He said,

I’m happy in Brazil, but my heart beats for Bayern Munich. If Bayern needs help, then they can call me.

I’m not saying it will happen, but the sentiment is exactly what you would expect of an underrated club legend like Rafinha. He’s one of the best.

Klinsmann forgot his coaching license in California (Bild)

Oopsy: Jürgen Klinsmann’s move to Hertha Berlin came together pretty quickly. Maybe too quickly? Klinsmann has yet to submit proof of his coaching license to the DFB. It just so happens we all know what that means now, thanks to RLD’s recent feature on the subject:

Klinsi has until Sunday to show the DFB his credentials or his assistant Alexander Nouri will have to stand in for him. Klinsmann said,

When I got on the plane to Berlin at the end of November, I didn’t think that I needed my coaching license and my proof of further education, because I didn’t know yet that I’d become Hertha’s coach.

Hertha BSC v Borussia Moenchengladbach - Bundesliga Photo by Matthias Kern/Bongarts/Getty Images

Ah, and he just forgot them over Christmas and there’s nobody home in California right now currently to get them for him... but he’ll figure it out, right? Maybe not: Klinsmann earned his coaching license in 2000, but it needs to be renewed every three years, which Klinsmann has not done for some time. The DFB is reviewing what it will require Klinsmann to produce as proof of his further development, and the DFL may sanction Hertha for hiring a head coach without the necessary license.

Christian Streich the player with awesome jersey sponsors (FUMS)

If you’re a Bundesliga fan, you better be a Christian Streich fan.

Proof that Serge Gnabry is really healthy (yay!)

Required reading on why you hate RB Leipzig (ESPN)

ESPN published a great feature on RB Leipzig, which is now not only the number 1 most hated team in Germany but also currently first in the Bundesliga. “You would assume the emergence of a new contender would be celebrated. It isn’t.”

Eintracht Frankfurt’s Philipp Reschke remarked, “We would prefer our worst enemies. We would always not vote for the plastic. We would vote for a traditional club like Bayern. We would vote for the heart.”

Eintracht refuses to show RB Leipzig’s logo anywhere in its stadium when the team comes to play in Frankfurt arena. “I’m not here to make an advertisement for Red Bull,” one board member said.

Some other savory tidbits: when Leipzig first went to Union Berlin, the Berliner featured a “primer on bull breeding” where the blurb about the history of the club usually would appear. And Fortuna Düsseldorf updated its bylaws to preclude playing friendlies against or recognizing RB Leipzig at all “beyond what is required by the rules of the sport.”

In a somewhat disturbing parting shot, American prospect Tyler Adams, who plays for RB, said, “We’re all just a bunch of young guys running around on the pitch. We want to play a brand of soccer with the same kind of energy that Red Bull is known for.”

The club or the energy drink, Tyler?

From cows to Catalans — Quique Setién

Hummels goes up against Erling Haalandowski

The Rise of Alaba

Francesco Totti nearly decapitates someone

Don’t be the guy who tries to stop a shot by Totti curving like that with your head. What are you thinking, man!?