Off the Crossbar: Our Search for the Next Great Player Hashtag

So here we were, just talking on the internal Slack channel about our favorite transfers this summer. Naturally, we have some disagreements. Tom said it was Jann-Fiete Arp and sent us #ArpTrain #ArpSzn. To which, John Dillon replied that his favorite was Sarpreet Singh and the #SarpreetOderNichts.

I had no clue what was going on, nor what the origin of the conversation was. All I saw was people posting hashtags of players. So, naturally, I replied with the most creative one I could think of at that time:

#MaiHeartWillGoOn

And the game was afoot.

What should have been a small inside joke, snowballed into an entire afternoon, where we went back and forth, providing hashtags of pretty much every Bayern Munich player (and some from other European clubs).

So, we’re gonna show you what we came up with, along with who came up with it and the inspiration. We claim copyright on these so if they take off, we can make some money for once. We hope you enjoy!

(Disclaimer: No, we didn’t do any for KHR because... obvious reasons. DON’T YOU DO IT EITHER!)

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Goalkeepers

Manuel Neuer

• #NeuerGonnaGiveYouUp - Phillip Quinn (Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up)
• #ItsNoworNeuer - Josh Tobolt (Jon Bon Jovi - It’s My Life)

Sven Ulreich

• #EveryLittleThingIsGonnaBeUlreich - Jake Fenner (Bob Marley - Three Little Birds)
• #TheMagnificentSven - Jake Fenner (The Magnificent Seven [either the movie or The Clash song])

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Defenders

Lars-Lukas Mai

• #MaiHeartWillGoOn - Jake Fenner (Celene Dion - My Heart Will Go On)
• #ItsGonnaBeMai - Jake Fenner (*NSYNC - It’s Gonna Be Me)
• #PrettyFlyForAMaiGuy - Tom Adams (The Offspring - Pretty Fly (for a White Guy))

Jerome Boateng

• #ImOnABoateng - Joshua Tobolt (The Lonely Island - I’m On A Boat)

Benjamin Pavard

• #AllAboutTheBenjamin - Marcus Iredahl (Puff Daddy - It’s All About the Benjamins)

David Alaba

• #AlabaUhUh - Phillip Quinn (Van Halen - Panama)
• #AlabaThatBass - Jake Fenner (Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass)

Lucas Hernandez

• #Lucaspacito - John Dillion (Luis Fonsi - Despacito)

Niklas Süle

• #ComeSüleAway - Joshua Tobolt (Styx - Come Sail Away)
• #ABoyNamedSüle - Chuck Smith (Johnny Cash - A Boy Named Sue)

Joshua Kimmich

• #KimmichMeThroughThePhone - Yams (Soulja Boy - Kiss Me Through The Phone)
• #KimmichStartMyHeart - Chuck Smith (Mötley Crue - Kickstart My Heart)

Phillip Lahm

• #SilenceOfTheLahms - Marcus Iredahl (Silence of the Lambs)

Chris Richards

• #RichardsDontLoseThatNumber - John Dillon (Steely Dan - Rikki Don’t Lose That Number)

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Midfielders/Forwards

Sarpreet Singh

• #SinghForTheMoment - Marcus Iredahl (Eminem - Sing For The Moment)
• #SinghWithMe #SinghForTheYears #SingForTheLaughs #SinghForTheTears (In this exact order)- Jake Fenner (Aerosmith - Dream On)
• #DoesTheSarpreetMatchTheDrapes - Jake Fenner ;)
• #LordOfTheSinghs - Yams
• #RevengeOfTheSingh - Phillip Quinn (Revenge of the Sith)
• #TheMaskedSingher - Jake Fenner

Jann-Fiete Arp

• #HappyFiete - Yams (Birthday)
• #NoahsArp - Marcus Iredahl
• #MagikArp - Fergus25 (Pokemon)
• #MagicArpetRide - Jake Fenner (Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride)

Kingsley Coman

• #ComanEileen - Jake Fenner (Dexy’s Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen)
• #BlackMagicComan - John Dillon (Santana - Black Magic Woman)
• #ComanOverBaby - Jake Fenner [Christina Aguilera - Come On Over (All I Want Is You) ]

Corentin Tolisso

• #CuckooForCoCoPuffs - Tom Adams
• #WakeMeUpBeforeYouCoco - Marcus Iredahl (Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You GoGo)
• #TolisSoFarAway - Jake Fenner (Carole King - So Far Away)

Alphonso Davies

• #PickUpThePhonzie - Yams (Young Thug - pick up the phone)

Thiago Alcantara

• ThiaGoYourOwnWay - Jake Fenner (Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way)

Thomas Muller

• #MullerHollandDrive - Jake Fenner

Franck Ribery

• #TheTalentedMrRibery - Marcus Iredahl (The Talented Mr. Ripley)

Robert Lewandowski

• #LewyLewy - Chuck Smith (The Kingsmen - Louie Louie)
• #Lewdacris - Jake Fenner

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Front Office / German National Team

Joachim Löw

• #DoYouBelieveInLifeAfterLöw - John Dillon (Cher - Believe)
• #LöwHurts - Jake Fenner (Also Cher)
• #LöwIsABattlefield - Jake Fenner (Pat Benatar)
• #CrazyInLöw - Marcus Iredahl (Beyonce)
• #IWillAlwaysLöwYou - Joshua Tobolt (Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston...take your pick)
• #LöwNeverBrokeAnyonesHeart - Joshua Tobolt (Vince Gill)

Uli Hoeneß

• #HoeßAintLoyal - Joshua Tobolt (Chris Brown - Loyal)
• #TheseHoeneßAintShit - Joshua Tobolt (Juicy J)
• #HoeneßAndTricks - Jake Fenner (Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg - Bitches Ain’t Shit)
• #HoeneßInDifferentAreaCodes - John Dillon (Ludacris - Area Codes)
• #UliUliUliUliRockinEverywhere - Jake Fenner (Bubba Sparks - Ms. New Booty)
• #GzUpHoeneßDown - Chuck Smith (Snoop Dogg)

Niko Kovač

• #LivinLaVidaNiko - Phillip Quinn (Ricky Martin)
• #KovacTheWayILikeIt - Jake Fenner (KC and the Sunshine Band - Thats The Way)

Oliver Kahn

• #KahnTouchThis - Joshua Tobolt (MC Hammer)
• #IKahntDance - Marcus Iredahl (Genesis)

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Miscellaneous/Non-Bayern Players

Firstly, we have these two

• #SchweinisMomHasGotItGoingOn - Joshua Tobolt (Fountains of Wayne - Stacy’s Mom)
• #HotlineBlingBlingGang - John Dillon

Then, we get back-to-back Cypress Hill References from Chuck Smith

• #InSáneInTheBrain
• #HitsFromDeJong

And finally for some reason, I was thinking of Kai Havertz, Anchorman, and the Starlight Vocal Band because...

• #KaiRocketsInFlight
• #AfternoonDeLigt

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So let us know what your favorites are in the comments!