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Bayern Munich players as Game of Thrones characters

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Not the post you thought you wanted, but it is the post we here at BFW knew you needed. * SPOILER ALERT * If you are not up to date on the show, stop now!

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Uli Hoeness—Olenna Tyrell

Much like the lady of Highgarden, Uli is not one to be messed with. Lady Olenna is the spunky leader of her house who lost her filter and patience for pleasantries long ago. She’s employed morally questionable means to protect her family, though no one can blame her for poisoning that prick Joffrey. At her peak she built arguably the second most powerful family in Westeros just as Uli helped to build up the modern dynasty that is Bayern Munich.

Karl Heinz-Rummenigge—Tywin Lannister

Although less brash than his counterpart, Tywin Lannister and KHR are equally ruthless and loyal to their respective families. Like Lady Tyrell, Tywin built a dynasty through shrewd business dealings and a propensity for paying his debts (insert tiresome joke about Uli’s tax fraud here). KHR’s more reserved manner doesn’t diminish his commitment and loyalty to the protection of his family.

Niko Kovac—Jorah Mormont

Perennially in the friend zone, Jorah remains loyal to his queen despite being banished and criticized incessantly. He eventually bites the dust battling the army of the dead, finally receiving the affection he deserves. Poor Niko has experienced a similar story arc in the past months overcoming multiple rough patches and rumors of flashier managers. Here’s to hoping the Croatian manager is able to avoid a similar fate and hold onto his job into the next campaign.

Robert Lewandowski—The Night King

This all comes down to Robert Lewandowski and the Night King’s shared love for frosted tips (remember when Lewy had silver hair?). Not really, they’re both pretty lethal in the attack too!

Robert Lewandowski of Bayern Muenche speaks to James Rodriguez of Bayern Muenchen during the UEFA Champions League group B match between Bayern Muenchen and Paris Saint-Germain at Allianz Arena on December 5, 2017 in Munich, Germany.
Icy hot.
Photo by Adam Pretty/Bongarts/Getty Images

Arjen Robben—Daenerys Targaryen

Despite our love for Arjen Robben (and Dany) and his propensity for heroics at key moments, he definitely gives off the “if you piss me off, I’ll burn down your entire city” vibe.

Franck Ribery—Tyrion Lannister

Although Tyrion was originally framed as a lovable party-boy, his wit, determination, and brazen self-confidence take him a long way in the Game of Thrones and make him a fan favorite. Much like Tyrion, Ribery’s relentless and supremely confident approach has endeared him to Bayern Munich fans for ages to come. Will Tyrian go out in a blaze of glory like King Franck did just yesterday?

Joshua Kimmich—Grey Worm

A stoic leader among the world’s most elite warriors. Plus, both have an affinity for intensity and yelling in the heat of battle/on the pitch.

AFP/Getty Images

Niklas Sule—Tormund Giantsbane

Size, skill with the sword/ball at his feet and a love for ale. Tormund and Sule are absolute units on the battle field, instilling fear in opponents and covering for those closest to them.

Sule and his girlfriend
Sule and his girlfriend
FC bayern

Thiago Alcantara—Oberyn Martell

Despite an absolutely gruesome death, Oberyn Martell endears himself to fans for his beautiful style of fighting and prowess in combat. He is arguably the only character capable of taking down the mountain and his style and grace in doing so is unrivaled. Much like Martell, our midfield Maestro from down South (Spain) is an artist with the ball at his feet in addition to bringing bite into the tackle.

Sven Ulreich—The Wall

Am I saying Sven is a giant (almost) impenetrable wall of ice? Yes. Yes I am.

Serge Gnabry—Arya Stark

Much like Arya, Serge went away (on loan) to hone his craft and turn into an assassin. He has turned into one of Bayern’s most important players driving the attack forward in key matches throughout the season, just like the battle of Winterfell.

Renato Sanches—Lyanna Mormont

We lost the brave, young Lady Mormont way too soon as she slayed a zombie giant on her way out. Unfortunately, we may have seen the last of Renato Sanches today, but his title-clinching goal should not be forgotten.

Thomas Muller—John Snow/Aegon Targaryen

The reluctant prince that was promised has been counted out (and murdered) and dismissed, but he always seems to come up big when it matters. Both are men of the people, beloved by their followers, and take a different approach to leadership and success.