Daily Schmankerl: Haaland to BVB for a steal? ManCity with next mega-sponsorship, Aubameyang takes potty break, story time with Ibra and more!

Haaland to BVB for just €20m?! (Bild)

The news surrounding RB Salzburg’s incredible young Tormaschine Erling Haaland just took a surprising twist: according to Bild, Haaland’s contract with Salzburg through 2023 has what is, in hindsight, a wildly inexpensive release clause — “just” €20m!

Bild claims that previous reports of a €30m release clause are false.

Borussia Dortmund just happen to be on the market for a solid striker, having foregone signing a traditional striker this past summer. Haaland in turn might find the step up from Austria to neighboring Germany just right. He has been incredibly sensible about working his way up step by step, even if he sees his ultimate destination in the Premier League.

The two parties could theoretically reach an agreement this winter. That would be a blow to Salzburg, but a boon to BVB and presumably Haaland himself. He has scored a whopping 27 goals in 20 games this season, 8 of them in the Champions League, including a hat-trick.

Financial Fair Play at work: ManCity to announce eight-figure deal for new training kit sponsor (Daily Mail)

Whosoever hath cash, to him shall more shall be given — in massive sponsorship deals. Not only can City be confident that the club will elude punishment for past crimes against FFP, but the Citizens are about to announce a gigantic new sponsorship deal. According to the Mail, this multi-million pound deal will add a sponsor to the training kit:

Manchester City are set to swell their pockets again on Friday with a new mega-money training kit deal.

It is understood that the Premier League champions have signed an eight-figure contract with their first partner to sponsor training gear.

The long-term deal is believed to be of significant size and is among the largest partnerships City have negotiated.

“When you need to go...” Aubameyang takes bathroom break during Arsenal loss (Daily Mail)

All is not well at Arsenal. The latest low occurred in a 2-1 loss to Brighton in Freddie Ljungberg’s first game as caretaker coach after Unai Emery was finally fired: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang had to leave the pitch in the middle of the game for a bathroom break.

As a soccer dad, I’ve been there: the little guy trots over and tells me he has to go, and you spend the next ten or so minutes shuffling around outside a bathroom by the fields wondering why he didn’t go before the game.

The kicker though: Ljungberg’s defense of Auba:

I actually didn’t even notice he went off, I just saw him come back on after he’d been off for a couple of minutes.

Not exactly what you want to hear about your star striker — or your coach, really. But Ljungberg is right about one thing: “When you need to go, you need to go.”

Ibra never forgets (FootballItalia)

Ibrahimovic revealed to GQ that he waited four years to take revenge on Marco Materazzi for a nasty scissor tackle that injured him in 2006. Zlatan told the story in his inimitable way:

Materazzi entered a challenge like an assassin and hurt me. He was a tough football player, that’s OK. But there’s two ways to be tough, one of them is aiming to hurt you...

It was Juventus-Inter in 2006 and after the foul I had to leave the pitch for a moment and [coach Fabio] Capello said, “I’ll substitute you.” I said, “No, I’ll go on.” I wanted to return to the pitch to get my revenge on Matrix. If someone does that too me, I won’t forget about it. But after two minutes, I’m in too much pain to go on. I can’t play. Then I go to Inter, Barcelona, Milan…

In the first game, the 2010-11 derby, they were all against me. OK, this motivates me. But, if you don’t have any control, it’s not good. You’ll lose your head and do something stupid. I got a penalty, and who fouled me? Materazzi. 1-0 Milan.

In the second half, Matrix is coming at me and I hit him with a Taekwondo move, I sent him to the hospital. [Dejan] Stankovic asked me; “Why did you do that?” And I replied to him: “I have been waiting for this moment for four years. That’s why.”

Then I left. What goes around comes around. Milan won and it was a good moment, because the old club was great.

Here are the two flagrant fouls in question — rather amazing both players escaped with yellow cards:

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Ziyech gives boy pitch-invader his jersey... next week it’s on eBay (GianlucaDiMarzio)

Fans enjoyed a beautiful moment of sport when a young boy who ran onto the pitch to great Hakim Ziyech came away with the player’s jersey as a gift after the match. How sweet! — except now, a week later, that same jersey has been posted to Ebay where it is being sold for over a thousand euros.

“The jersey has stayed exactly as it was,” the description reads. It is apparently authentic, unlike certain other things.