Daily Schmankerl: Bild’s case for Pep Guardiola, Kahn’s vision for Bayern, Barca mulling Haaland, Ronaldo’s tantrum, and more!

Bild’s case why Pep Guardiola could return to Munich

In their Wednesday issue, Bild lays out why Pep Guardiola might return to coach Bayern Munich after Hansi Flick sees out the current season. It is largely circumstantial, but tantalizing nonetheless.

“The one or other person at FC Bayern dreams of getting Pep Guardiola (2013-2016) back!” Bild writes. Family is one factor that might induce Pep and family to return:

The Bayern bosses’ contact with Pep Guardiola is regularly maintained. People in Munich have registered that Guardiola no longer seems happy in his fourth year in Manchester. His wife has supposedly moved back to Spain with some of their kids. In Munich, in contrast, felt good together. Pep never sold the apartment in the center of town.

The recent defeat to Jürgen Klopp’s Liverpool stings, and Pep supposedly “struggles with the high expectations in the Champions League” at City even more than in Munich. And Bayern’s push to buy Leroy Sané for some €100m at least shows him that the club is willing to spend on a scale that was previously taboo.

But there are other possibilities, too: apparently Guardiola is thinking about coaching a national team. Bild mentions Qatar, citing only Pep’s “good relations.” At any rate, Bild claims to have learned that Hansi Flick would not object to acting as assistant coach to a superstar like Guardiola.

Stoiber spells out Oliver Kahn’s goals for Bayern (Bild)

Former minister president of Bavaria and supervisory board member Edmund Stoiber gave an interview in the Wednesday edition of Bild, commenting on Uli Hoeness’ imminent departure from the president’s office and his and Karl-Heinz Rummenigge’s successors. According to Stoiber, Oliver Kahn has very clear goals for Bayern when he takes over as chairman of the board:

Oliver Kahn would like Bayern to stay constantly among the top five in Europe. That is his clear objective. At the same time, the club will continue to be led in an economically serious way. But he will say more publicly when he transfers onto the board on January 1, 2020.

On the subject of public statements, Stoiber said he does not believe Uli Hoeness will give public advice to his own successor as club president, Herbert Hainer — Hoeness’ pledge to remain Bayern’s “attack division” notwithstanding:

I don’t think so. Uli Hoeness is completely convinced by Herbert Hainer. He will do everything to support him. There will be no public advice to his successor.

Stoiber was careful not to reveal any particulars about the transfer saga of Leroy Sané or about any potential interest in bringing Pep Guardiola back to Munich.

Get yer “Hecktor” and “Waltschmidt” Germany jerseys while they’re hot! (FUMS)

The online shop for the German national team made fans second-guess themselves about the spelling of two players’ names — is it Jonas Hector or Hecktor? And Luca Waldschmidt or... Waltschmidt? The shop accidentally misspelled both players’ names on its personalized jersey selection. Oops. As Fums notes, the biggest mistake went uncorrected: namely, “Hummels” is still spelled “Ginter” on all of Germany’s jerseys.

Barcelona want Salzburg’s Erling Haaland, but don’t want to pay for him (ESPN FC)

You may have heard about RB Salzburg’s Erling Haaland. He just scored his fifth hat-trick of the season for RB the other day. He’s literally the current top-scorer in the Champions League, with seven goals — that’s one more than Robert Lewandowski. Well...

Barcelona are keeping a close eye on Erling Haaland but sources have told ESPN FC that they consider the €100 million price tag for the FC Salzburg striker to be excessive.

However, sources at Barca say the price they have been quoted by Salzburg is “disproportionate” and “not in line with his market value.” The sources add that, unless the Austrian side dramatically reduce what they're asking for, the Catalan club would not be willing to break the bank for the Norway international.

Imagine Barcelona upset about the transfer market! Haaland, who is still only 19, is under contract with Salzburg until 2023... and that deal does not include a release clause. But he might not go anyway: Haaland has turned down more lucrative deals twice already to ensure he gets playing time. Smart.

Relive Robert Lewandowski’s godly first touch vs Borussia Dortmund — and a goal by Ribery

If you missed this incredible show of skill by Bayern Munich’s no. 9, you were not paying attention. Fiorentina played along and shared a clip of Ribery making those violet hearts swoon for him.

Ronaldo gets time-out, has to stand in the corner and say sorry. Bad Ronaldo! (Marca)

Cristiano Ronaldo threw a tantrum when Mauricio Sarri yanked him off the pitch early in the second half of Juventus Turin’s match against AC Milan. Ronaldo made way for Paulo Dybala in the 55th minute. And then Dybala had the nerve to score the game-winning goal in the 77th minute — and he even celebrated stealing it from Ronaldo. Shocking.

Ronaldo was hopping mad and left the stadium before the match had even ended. In contrast to spouting racist abuse at players of color, that is a no-no in Italy. The Gazzetta dello Sport has learned that Ronaldo will not be fined, but he will have to meet Pavel Nedved (vice-chairman of Juve’s board of directors) and Fabio Paratici (sporting director) informally. The reached out to his agent Jorge Mendes (lol, they don’t have Ronaldo’s number?) to arrange the meeting.