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Daily Schmankerl: Lewandowski to retire at Real Madrid; Nübel thinking about going abroad after all; Ribery unrecognizable

The Lewy saga is back: a new report claims he has told Florentino Pérez he wants to retire with Real Madrid. Meanwhile, Franck Ribery has been replaced by a shady character actor. Can you identify him?

Poland v FYR Macedonia -EURO Qualifier Photo by David S. Bustamante/Soccrates/Getty Images

Surprise call for “Flo”: Robert Lewandowski wants to retire at Real (Don Balon)

Surprise, surprise! Robert Lewandowski, who literally just extended his contract with Bayern Munich this summer through 2023, has “made it known to ‘Flo’ [that] he wants to retire dressed in white and asks him to focus all his efforts on him.” The Don is in fine form tonight:

At 31, [Lewandowski] is tired of winning everything and would love to put the finishing touch on a dream career, as probably the most successful athlete in the history of his country, with a trophy that eludes him: the Champions League.

And what better team to accomplish that with than Real Madrid, who are on top of La Liga with 18 points (Barca: 16) but are currently at the bottom of Group A with a single point, behind Galatasaray on goal difference. But next year, it’ll be different, because Benzema will finally be put out to pasture, and Luka Jovic will be so very bad that Flo(rentino) Pérez would love to sign a new 32-year-old striker for a gazillion euros.

Ho ho! Alexander Nübel is thinking about going abroad after all (Sport1)

Completely contradicting the last thing that was reported about Schalke’s Alexander Nübel, the goalkeeper has said that he is in fact about about “things like abroad, where you can say that you learn something for your life.” So perhaps this young, Nübel goalkeeper will play coy until he actually has to make a decision, as much as tabloids would like to inform us about what he may or may not have already decided.

The Purple Who? Ribery unrecognizable in FIFA20

Bayern legend and Fiorentina’s new favorite superstar Franck Ribery had a case of mistaken self-identity when he fired up FIFA20 with his kids.

To quote the host of the Hydraulic Press Channel, “Vat da faak?” Who on earth is this mysterious no. 7? I can’t place it, honestly. Who does this guy look like? He reminds me a little of Nicolas Cage, but somehow shiftier...

Eintracht Frankfurt hammered with double fan ban (Bild)

Frankfurters not welcome! UEFA is sick of Eintracht Frankfurt’s fans causing chaos in the Europa League and has punished the club with a twofold away-fan ban for their November games against Liège and Arsenal. Frankfurt’s fans have been on probation since last season. But they are still running amok: in Guimarães, they ripped out their seats and tossed them around with other objects.

The most valuable CONMEBOL XI: Coutinho rated €90m

Sure, he’s no Neymar (€180m) or Messi (€150), but Coutinho is no slouch either in this ideal CONMEBOL XI. He comes in as the third-most expensive starter and the only one currently playing in Germany. James Rodriguez still gets a €50m price tag, at least in this lineup, but that was much more than Bayern would have been willing to buy, even if James had wanted to stay in Munich.

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