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Ribery doesn’t give a flying Franckfurter about your feelings

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Swear words on my Internet? Oh noes!!!!11 Faux-outrage is all the rage lately. Bayern Munich has better things to do than punish Ribery to appease the “haters.”

27 November 2018, Bavaria, München: Soccer: Champions League, Bayern Munich - Benfica Lisbon, Group stage, Group E, 5th matchday in Munich Olympic Stadium. Munich goal scorer Franck Ribery rejoices over his goal to 5-1. Photo by Matthias Balk/picture alliance via Getty Images

Bonne année 2019! Franck Ribery opened the new year with a bang heard round the internet. A few days ago, he shared a video of himself together with SaltBae, the Turkish restauranteer famous for his stylish salt-sprinkling. The gold-leaf covered steak Ribery was served purportedly cost €1200, duly making headlines at Bild and other newspapers (here at BFW, we didn’t even put it in the “Daily Schmankerl,” the only place it belongs).

The expense of Ribery’s conspicuous consumption was too much for countless critics, though, and a torrent of ill will flooded Ribery’s social media accounts. The Bayern star went to bed promising he’d “have to insult some mothers” the next day. He did not disappoint. In an Instagram story (still online as of this writing), also shared on his Twitter account, Ribery gave his critics a piece of his mind.

His message:

For 2019, let’s dot our i’s and cross our t’s ... let’s start for the envious, the angry, undoubtedly born from a broken condom: f*ck your mothers, your grandmothers and your whole family tree. I don’t owe you anything. My success is due above all to God, myself, and my loved ones who believed in me; as for the others, you’re nothing more than stones in my shoes!

Ribery then addressed his critics in the press specifically:

Next, regarding these pseudo-journalists who have always been negative critics of myself, my actions (latest example: the price of what I eat!) ... When I make gifts (because I was taught to give when I receive a lot...) Why doesn’t any big national media publish that?

No, you prefer to talk about the vacations I take with my family, you scrutinize my actions and gestures, what I eat, etc.! Oh yes, for trivialities of this kind you’re there!

Ribery concluded with a jab at French journalist Audrey Pulvar who once defended her €3000 earrings by saying, “I do what I want with the money I earn.” Pulvar was prominent amont those who publicly criticized Ribery on Twitter for his expensive dinner.

And to put an end to this polemic that shouldn’t be necessary: I address Audrey Pulvar or Ms “I do what I want with my money” with a pair of tortoise-shell earrings costing €3000, I hope they’ll let you see a better professional future than that of the pseudo-journalist that you are.


L’analyse de BFW très opinionée !

Now the outrage train is running at full steam. Commentators from Bild to Kicker are calling for Bayern Munich to punish Ribery. Frankly, though — Franckly? — it would be a waste of time for Bayern to respond publicly at all.

First, regarding the steak and Salt Bae (who has also been visited by Lionel Messi, Paul Pogba, Robet Lewandowski and many, many others), what Ribery does with his money is none of our business. If someone has a problem when a player spends €1200 on a steak, they should agitate against the massive salaries that the elite of the soccer world earn and the transfer fees that accompany them, or even against Dubai itself, because all that money could be spent “better” too.

And as for Ribery’s profanity-laden response: so what? The bosses might have a word with him in private not to let the press get under his skin and blow up like an angry teenager, but fining or suspending Ribery for going after his French critics en grand style would just kowtow to all this ridiculous faux-outrage, thereby encouraging it. Swear words on the Internet! Oh no! Ribery has not hurt anyone. He can say whatever he likes, and, personally, I sympathize with him in this case.

Bild caught head coach Niko Kovac off guard with a question about the steak, asking him whether there was a Protz-Problem in soccer — something like a “conspicuous-consumption problem.” Kovac was not even aware of the video. “Can somebody show me that?” he asked. His judgment, however, was on point — a point Ms Pulvar seemingly missed:

Everyone has to decide for themselves what and how they do it. That’s part of democracy. We shouldn’t all always pass judgment over someone somewhere. It’s always good to start with oneself and then go to the other person, if you go to the other person at all.

Haters gonna hate. Don’t give them an inch.