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Bayern Munich’s Sopranos mobster nicknames

HBO celebrated the 20th anniversary of the Sopranos by handing out mobster nicknames. @FCBayernUS got in on the action, but let’s do the whole team!

By John Dillon
MUNICH, GERMANY - OCTOBER 22: James Rodriquez of FC Bayern Muenchen arrives at the airport for the team flight to the UEFA Champions League match in Athens at Airport Munich on October 22, 2018 in Munich, Germany. Photo by Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images

HBO shook the Intertoobs yesterday with a fantastic Twitter thread. In honor of the Sopranos 20th anniversary, their social media account made a special announcement: Soprano nicknames for all!

Check out the thread! It’s well worth it for some of the great monikers they came up with for a number of companies and personalities. Bayern Munich’s awesome NYC social media team did not miss a beat and requested a nickname for our favorite Raumdeuter, Thomas Müller:

The Sopranos obliged, but we think we can do one better than “Bayern Bra(u)twurst.” Let’s think up some Soprano nicknames for the whole team!

Bobby “the Body” Lewandowski

Also known as the “Torjägermeister.” Bobby is the Bayern mob’s go-to Polish Hitman.

Franck “Royale with Cleats” Ribery

Bayern’s enfant terrible. That cat Franck is a bad mother—

Shut yo mouth!

But I’m talkin’ about the Mannschaft!

Well we can dig it.

Arjen “Inside Job” Robben

Also known as the “Flying Dutchman.” He does one thing, and he does it well.

Tommy “Space Invader” Müller

The Bayern gang’s secret weapon. You don’t watch out, the Raumdeuter will be breaking and entering on your property.

King(sley) “Coman the Bavarian”

Coman knows what’s best in life.

Serge “Mix-a-Lot” Gnabry

Serge has been known to stir the pot.

Sandro “Opera Man” Wagner

Goatee’d in our world; in the evil parallel universe, Sandro is good and clean-shaven.

Alphonso “Fonzarelli” Davies

This Phonzy doesn’t say “ayyy,” eh?

Thiago “Tapas” Alcantara

So deceptively smooth, “Tapas” daintily dribbles your way — then you realize you’ve been served nothing but nutmeg and left to pay the bill.

“St.” James Rodriguez

He’s practically divine. Or so you think.

Javi “Hiking Boots” Martinez

Watch out when Javi crosses your path. An “accident” just might happen.

Leon “The Professional” Goretzka

Leon goes where he pleases. He might leave you blue, but it’s just business to him.

Corentin “Monsieur Spock” Tolisso

Renato “Roundtrip” Sanches

Bayern to Swansea and back again. Renato keeps coming back for more. Just ask Benfica.

David “Alakabam!” Alaba

BOOM!

Mats “Slow Motion” Hummels

No, Mats sees you in slow motion, don’t get cocky. Now go get him some coffee.

Jerome “B-Thing” Boateng

Like Bayern’s hiphop fashionista himself says: I keep it real when my cleats hit the field. I beat up the track like we beat Brazil. Don’t make him slap you like the hand of Maradona.

Niklas “Big Nick” Süle

He’s six foot five and full of muscles. And no, he doesn’t speaka your language.

Joshua “T-1000” Kimmich

run

“Riffraff” Rafinha

Don’t underestimate his size. He packs a punch.

Manu “Clean Sheets” Neuer

Sweeping up the evidence, day in, day out. Don’t get him excited.

Sven “Forget-me-not” Ulreich

Also known as “The Wall.” He’s gone underground lately — on a business trip. Or so I’m told.

But wait, there’s more! Some names that might be on the team next season are worthy subjects as well. There’s Benji “Hoisted” Pavard incoming from VfB Stuttgart. Have you hopped aboard the “CHOCHO” hype train (Callum Hudson-Odoi)? Then there’s Lucas “Frenchie” Hernandez at Atletico, not to mention Kai “ID please” Havertz. Since I’m feeling generous, I’ll even confer a moniker on Adrien “Momma’s boy” Rabiot.

Poll

Which Bayern Soprano are you rolling with? Pick your favorite.

This poll is closed

  • 15%
    Bobby "the Body"
    (41 votes)
  • 3%
    Franck "Royale with Cleats"
    (10 votes)
  • 11%
    Arjen "Inside Job"
    (29 votes)
  • 5%
    Tommy "Space Invader"
    (14 votes)
  • 7%
    "Coman the Bavarian"
    (19 votes)
  • 3%
    Serge "Mix-a-Lot"
    (8 votes)
  • 1%
    "Opera Man" Wagner
    (4 votes)
  • 3%
    "Fonzarelli" Davies
    (9 votes)
  • 1%
    "Tapas" Alcantara
    (5 votes)
  • 8%
    "St." James
    (23 votes)
  • 1%
    "Hiking Boots" Martinez
    (3 votes)
  • 8%
    Leon "The Professional"
    (23 votes)
  • 0%
    "Monsieur Spock" Tolisso
    (2 votes)
  • 0%
    Renato "Roundtrip"
    (2 votes)
  • 1%
    David "Alakabam!"
    (5 votes)
  • 3%
    "Slow Motion" Hummels
    (8 votes)
  • 2%
    Jerome "B-Thing"
    (6 votes)
  • 4%
    "Big Nick"
    (11 votes)
  • 8%
    "T-1000"
    (23 votes)
  • 0%
    "Riffraff"
    (2 votes)
  • 3%
    Manu "Clean Sheets"
    (10 votes)
  • 1%
    Sven "Forget-me-not"
    (3 votes)
260 votes total Vote Now

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