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Sunday Schmankerl: Ronaldo rejects Lewandowski, Süle chasing history, Bayern wanted Hasenhüttl, and MORE!

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Real Madrid will not chase Robert Lewandowski if Ronaldo allegedly has his way, while James Rodriguez responds to Bayern's Champions League exit

MADRID, SPAIN - MAY 01: Robert Lewandowski of Bayern Muenchen looks on during the UEFA Champions League Semi Final Second Leg match between Real Madrid and Bayern Muenchen at the Bernabeu on May 1, 2018 in Madrid, Spain.
“No vacancy,” claims Ronaldo (Don Balolol).
Photo by TF-Images/Getty Images

Ronaldo doesn’t want Real Madrid to sign Lewandowski—he can play striker himself (Don Balolol)

According to our favorite source of reliable news, Ronaldo would prefer that Real Madrid not sign Robert Lewandowski (let alone Harry Kane!). Ronaldo can simply play as Real Madrid’s no. 9. After all, he is equally capable of not scoring any goals in the Champions League semifinals.

Ronaldo would “accept” it, though, if the Galacticos added Mo Salah to their galaxy, since he plays on the wing. Ronaldo is supposedly suspicious of Neymar, but who isn't at this point? Ronaldo also supposedly has wonderful ideas about the rest of Real’s lineup. Heck, why not make him the first player-general-manager in World Soccer? Wouldn’t that be swell?

Niklas Süle on the cusp of infamy history (Abendzeitung)

Niklas Süle scored his third own-goal of the season against for FC Köln yesterday. Yay? If he scores one more against Stuttgart next weekend, he will break a 40-year-old record, surpassing Manfred Katz, who also scored three own-goals in the 1977/78 season. Süle is responsible for three of the 13 goals scored against Bayern in Rückrunde this year—a whopping 23 percent! Yay? Jupp Heynckes was reminded of Germany and Bayern legend Franz Beckenbauer, “But Franz also scored a lot of own-goals.”

Hasenhüttl confirms Bayern contacted him in January (Abendzeitung)

RB Leipzig coach Ralph Hasenhüttl recently confirmed on ZDF that Bayern had contacted him about the coaching job in January. The admission occurred as Hasenhüttl was discussing his own uncertain future with Leipzig:

The fact of the matter is that as of today I have not spoken with any other club, with the exception that I had loose contact with Bayern Munich.

The contact had occurred in January, long before Bayern eventually signed Eintract coach Niko Kovac. Hasenhüttl elaborated,

I said that I can't imagine that I'm a first-choice solution for Bayern Munich, because I lack international experience.

But Hasenhüttl unambiguously said, Ja!, Bayern wanted to sign him.

James Rodriguez shares his thoughts about Bayern Munich’s Champions League exit

Treat your fans right: especially when they’re 86 years old and just traveled two and a half hours to see you.

Bayern fans want U23 coach Tim Walter to stay

Clear statement in the Bayern fan block re: U23 coach: “Tim Walter must stay! Thank you, Kalle.”

Easy like Sunday morning

Mats Hummels looks like he checked into a spa to recover after Bayern’s latest games. Enjoy your Sonntag, BFW fans!