Daily Schmankerl: Bayern Munich tell Thiago to pack his bags

Bayern tell Thiago Alcantara to pack his bags; Real Madrid happy to carry them (Don Balolol)

Florentino Perez is slowly coming to the conclusion that he will soon have to take Luka Modric back behind the shed and put him down. But a replacement is near at hand! According to (surprise!) exclusive information from Don Balon, Bayern Munich have told Thiago Alcantara that the club will ship him off this summer, despite the fact that he has a contract through 2021 (and is, you know, kinda important). Thiago’s agents have allegedly been shopping him around, and since Barcelona don’t want him (or so says the Don), Real Madrid are all too happy to negotiate. Unless it’s all hogwash.

Why Franck Ribery flipped out at Wissam Ben Yedder (kicker)

Early in the first half of the game against Sevilla, Franck Ribery suddently rushed his countryman Wissem Ben Yedder, touching him on the face. Ben Yedder threw himself to the ground, and Ribery saw the yellow card. After the game Ribery told ZDF, “You don’t do something like that,” referring cryptically to Ben Yedder.

What had happened is this: since Franco Vazquez was lying on the ground after colliding with Mats Hummels, Joshua Kimmich kicked the ball out of bounds to stop play so he could be treated. The game resumed with a throw-in for Sevilla, and Joaquin Correa threw the ball to Ben Yedder. Instead of passing the ball to a Bayern player, Ben Yedder kicked the ball out of bounds again, so that Kimmich had to throw it in.

Bayern thus couldn’t start from free play, which angered Ribery as a violation of fair play. Jupp Heynckes commented, “Franck is a fanatic about fairness, but he nevertheless has to keep himself under control.”

Thomas Tuchel apparently the chosen one for PSG (ESPN)

What does it mean when a head of state dictates decisions in club soccer? Is this the new norm?

In the end . . . it was the Emir of Qatar himself, who owns the club, who decided Tuchel was the right man for the job. Al Khelaifi and Henrique had to follow.

Bayern and Rafinha negotiating an extension (Kicker)

Rafinha put in a solid shift in Bayern’s 2-1 victory over Sevilla. He has been extremely important for Bayern this season, as injuries have reduced David Alaba’s and particularly Juan Bernat’s playing time. Rafinha’s contract expires at the end of the current season. Bayern would like to extend him, but are offering only a one-year contract. Rafinha, who has been entertaining thoughts of returning to Brazil to be close to his daughters, is apparently willing to stay, but would like a two-year contract.

Serge Gnabry promotes Kickfair in conjunction with CommonGoal charity movement

So how about Jürgen Klopp, huh?

Oddly enough, Olaf Thon recently wrote a column for Bundesliga.com arguing that Klopp would be perfect for Bayern. That may be highly improbable, but he certainly seems to have Pep Guardiola's number.

Arturo Vidal and son

How on earth are these two related? I'm trying to imagine the little guy with a mohawk, or Vidal with big glasses.