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Daily Schmankerl: Lewandowski / Pini Zahavi and Real Madrid agree to terms

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The Polish striker moves one step closer to Madrid. Meanwhile, Heynckes says ‘no interest’ in Malcom.

Robert Lewandowski of FC Bayern Muenchen arrives at Munich international airport 'Franz Josef Strauss' prior their team flight for the UEFA Champions League Round of 16 Second Leg match against Besiktas Istanbul on March 13, 2018 in Munich, Germany.
Robert Lewandowski has a ticket to ride, and he don’t care.
Photo by Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images

Agreement reached between Real Madrid and Lewandowski (Mundo Deportivo & ESPN)

According to the world’s most trusted Spanish newspaper, Mundo Deportivo, it took Pini Zahavi just two meetings with Florentino Pérez's right-hand man, José Ángel Sánchez, to come to reach an agreement on signing Lewandowski. The deal is allegedly for two years with an option to extend for a third. Now Zahavi just has to convince Bayern Munich...

Pérez is also supposedly still dead-set on signing Neymar, too, but he has to wait until 2019 for political reasons to do with the Sheikh of Qatar. Gosh.

Jupp Heynckes dismisses interest in Bordeaux’s Malcom (SportBild)

Jupp Heynckes threw cold water on the Malcom rumors. Heynckes confirmed that Bayern have been scouting him, but said there was no interest.

Although Heynckes stated previously that Malcom was being scouted, he said on Friday that he had not seen him personally:

That’s why I can’t given an opinion on him. I also don’t think that there is interest in him. They’re always putting him in the shop window but nobody bites.

Marco Reus discusses the challenge of competing against Bayern Munich (bundesliga.com)

Marco Reus talked at length about Borussia Dortmund's rivalry with Bayern Munich. Reus cited Dortmund's success against them in 2011 and 2012 as inspiration for fortifying their squad:

They have the individual quality and the squad to be able to rotate when they play sides that are lower down in the table. That is something they do very effectively and have done for many years . . . If you look at it in simple terms, it is very difficult to beat Bayern over 34 matches if you take into account the money that they have available and the fact that many clubs have to complete on multiple fronts.

Although Bayern is beatable, Reus noted,

If you lose one game, or go through a difficult period where you lose two or three, then Bayern will exploit that ruthlessly. You have to acknowledge that and accept it.

PSG targeting Robert Lewandowski and Harry Kane to replace Cavani (Téléfoot)

This naughty little story is the “French media reports” you may have seen floating around the web lately. The editors at Téléfoot say PSG would like to move on from Edinson Cavani and have targeted Lewandowski and Kane to replace him. Well, who wouldn’t? Of course, it all falls apart if PSG don’t actually want to drop Cavani, who’s under contract until 2020.

Xabi Alonso facing up to eight years of prison for tax evasion (Abendzeitung)

The Bayern veteran has been accused of tax evasion for not declaring his income from the sale of his image rights. Alonso allegedly funneled his income through a shell company on Madeira to hide it from the Spanish authorities. The sum in question is estimated at €5 million from 2010 to 2012. But Xabi is in good company: Spain is investigating Cristiano Ronaldo for the same offense and condemned Messi to 21 months of jail time—which he ultimately didn’t have to serve.

Thiago excited to be called up for Spain vs Germany and Argentina

Injury or no, Thiago will go.

Enrique Iglesias performs in Munich in the right jersey

Renato Sanches spotted at Säbener Straße

Sanches is apparently still in Munich recovering from injury.