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No country for old men: Die Mannschaft needs to stay

Instead of addressing the real issues with the German national team, the DFB thought about changing its nickname.

AFP/Getty Images

In what could be a bizarre of a story as I’ve seen of late, the always “in touch” DFB considered moving away from branding the German national team as Die Mannschaft.

Per a story in Marca that captured an original report by Bild, Oliver Bierhoff and the DFB actually considered moving away the nickname as a brand after last summer’s embarrassment in Russia.

After the World Cup we questioned a lot of things critically including the brand ‘Die Mannschaft.’ The results of an independent investigation have encouraged us to hold on to it.

One, changing the name would be incredibly dumb. Two, why in the hell would anyone authorize an “independent investigation” on this when you’ve got an unsettled roster and a coach who has looked aimless for the better part of two years? Priorities DFB...priorities.

Translated into English as ‘the team’, the slogan is popular with the young and women although disliked by older men, research has found. The concept started in 2015, following in the footsteps of long-established international nicknames such as the Azzurri for Italy or Brazil’s Selecao.

Who are these so-called older men? They don’t represent my 42-year old opinion!

Germany federation president Reinhard Grindel said after the World Cup group stage exit that ‘Die Mannschaft’ branding could be scrapped among a number of reform measures.

It just seems so out of touch that at a time when the roster is unsettled and the coach’s every move can be questioned, that the DFB even wasted the time exploring the viability of Die Mannschaft as a nickname.

I will not stand for this oppression of a totally bad-ass nickname. Here is a comprehensive list of why Germany needs to unite and fight to keep Die Mannschaft should Bierhoff and his cronies decide to make any rash decisions:

  • Everyone giggles the first they hear it
  • It’s just bad-ass as previously stated
  • The possibilities for banners and signs are endless
  • Again, it just bad-ass

No others reasons are needed.

Germany is absolutely Die Mannschaft worthy. It’s unique, it’s fitting, and it’s just cool to say.

Don’t screw this up DFB.


Is the DFB crazy for even considering moving away from Die Mannschaft?

This poll is closed

  • 78%
    Yes - this is so dumb when the team has other issues
    (401 votes)
  • 14%
    Yes - I am willing to fight over this
    (73 votes)
  • 1%
    No - I am an idiot
    (7 votes)
  • 1%
    No - I am dumb
    (7 votes)
  • 4%
    No - I just disagree with your bad take
    (23 votes)
511 votes total Vote Now

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