Daily Schmankerl: Bernat to Everton! James to Liverpool! Everyone to Madrid!

Everton might sign Juan Bernat THIS JANUARY (Daily Fail)

“Reports” are at it again: The Daily Mail, cannibalizing the Liverpool Echo, has revealed that Everton may sign poor Juan Bernat before the winter transfer window closes! Poor Bernat “has found playing time hard to come by in recent months, having made just two Bundesliga appearances all season [because he broke his frickin’ anckle and has had muscular problems after coming back].” Oh noes! The Echo goes so far as to claim, “Bayern are likely to be willing to sell, and a move for the Spaniard may be on the cards for the Blues.” Yup, he only has 18 months on his contract left, and Bayern just hate extending valuable players.

Former Leverkusen boss Wolfgang Holzhäuser proposes Bundesliga playoffs (Sport1)

Holzhäuser is the latest figure to suggest a change in light of Bayern’s domestic dominance. As Bayern already seem to be cruising to their sixth consecutive championship, many think a US-inspired playoffs could generate more excitement in the league. Holzhäuser suggests a two-game format between the top four teams, effectively semifinals and a final round. Thomas Tuchel, among others, has expressed support for the idea.

Bayern Munich signs U17 national player Louis Poznanski from Werder Bremen (FCBayern.com)

Photo by Dino Panato/Bongarts/Getty Images

Poznanski is a left-back who played well against Bayern's own U17 team in last year's German championship. Jochen Sauer, the director of the FC Bayern Campus, said, “With Louis we have gained a very talented player at an extremely important position for FC Bayern gewonnen. He stood out not only at Werder, but also in the national youth teams.”

Bayern Amateurs win friendly match against Unterhaching 2:0 (FCBayern.com)

Mario Crnicki and Raphael Obermair scored for the Bayern reserves. Marco Friedl just missed a header off a cross provided by Fabian Benko. Young Franck Evina also hit the post in the 82nd minute. Bayern II will play Arsenal’s U23 team in the Premier League International Cup on January 23.

Jupp Heynckes thinks Sven Ulreich has a shot at making Germany’s national team (Abendzeitung)

Heynckes said it was “inconceivable just half a year ago,” but Ulreich now “definitely has chances of making the squad.” Ulreich himself was reserved. “There are so many good German keepers . . . after Manuel Neuer, Marc-André Ter Stegen, and Kevin Trapp.”

Manuel Neuer is finally off crutches; Hummels sick (Abendzeitung)

Manuel Neuer can at last put weight on his injured left foot again, almost four months after an operation to insert a metal plate in it. Neuer is continuing his rehabilitation behind closed doors in the Säbener Straße facilities. Mats Hummels, meanwhile, was sick and missed training on Tuesday.

Rafinha and Sven want Heynckes to stay (Sport Bild)

Photo by A. Beier/Getty Images for FC Bayern

Ulreich said, “I don't know if we can influence him somewhat. But if the coach feels that the team is completely behind him, it's possible that he says, 'I wouldn’t want to leave them in the lurch!’” Rafinha added, “Everyone knows that Jupp is a super-coach for us. The team loves him. I hope that he continues!”

Just for kicks:

Liverpool set to replace Coutinho with James Rodriguez (Don Balon)

James looks great at Bayern, so obviously Liverpool must want to sign him this summer - even though he will be only a year into a loan with an option to buy and Bayern would be quite insane to let him go.

Real Madrid to dump Benzema, Bale, and Ronaldo for Neymar, Eden Hazard, and Lewandowski (Marca)

The NHL is coming to Madrid! Florentino Perez has BIG plans for a summer transfer window spending spree. According to the diligent journalists at Marca,

The Pole turns 30 in August and might want to finish his career with one last hurrah at Real Madrid, although it would depend on whether or not Bayern Munich would want to negotiate and on whether or not they’d cite a reasonable transfer fee.

So there you go.

And from social media:

Happy Birthday Pep Guardiola!

Farewell, Ronaldinho!

An absolute legend calls it a career. They don’t make Ballon d’Ors like they used to.

UPDATE: Just who is the father of Mats Hummels’s baby?

A photo shared by Hummels’s wife Cathy has raised some eyebrows around Säbener Straße...