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Ancelotti off to China this Christmas! No, really!

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Mario Basler heard what you want to hear.

Former Bayern Munich midfielder and current sporting director of FC Lokomotive Leipzig, Mario Basler heard something the other day. He told Sport1 Fantalk about it, and you’ll love it. It goes like this:

A few days ago, I “heard” [gesturing quotation marks] that Carlo Ancelotti has signed a contract for the winter . . . overseas. That’s the rumor.

Wait, what? He’s leaving this winter?

Yeah, he supposedly has signed a pre-contract.

Where?!

Where the most money is.

So... Paris?

Nooo. In China. I can’t confirm it 100%... I’ve only heard that he’s already signed a pre-contract in China starting in January.

That - that’s amazing! And the timing couldn’t be better. Carlo Ancelotti is currently in the second lukewarm year of a three-year contract through the 2018-2019 season, and has just earned the distinction of being the first Bayern Munich coach to be beaten by Hoffenheim not once, but twice, after a 2:0 loss to Julian Nagelsmann.

So will Christmas come early for Thomas Müller fans everywhere? Have Karl-Heinz Rummenigge and Uli Hoeness intimated to Carlo that they’ve had enough? Could Ancelotti have decided prematurely that he’ll never survive beyond the Hinrunde? Has Bayern already identified a replacement (*cough, cough couNAGELSMANN!*) and signed him to a shady pre-contract, as well? Will Carlo take Vidal with him? And on and on.

Who knows? It’s hard to blame Basler, though, for missing the Bayern of Guardiola’s days, which he likened to “rivers of beer flowing without end” and “dream sex with your dream woman 34 time in a row.” Dream on, Mario.