After a terse game and a battle of tactical wits between Bayern Munich's Josep Guardiola and Arsene Wenger sawthe London-based manager fall 2-0 at the Emirates Stadium after going down a man, everyone assumed that was that until the second leg started in early March.
But wait! Catastrophe and calamity await with the non-observance of customary traditional cultural and sportmans-like behavior at the Emirates!
Wenger did not shake Guardiola's hand before or after the game— Raphael Honigstein (@honigstein) February 19, 2014
Btw, non-handshake not my personal observation but info from Bayern official. They're a bit puzzled— Raphael Honigstein (@honigstein) February 19, 2014
Oh the nerve on that puffy coat wearing Frenchmen!
But wait, could there have been an acceptable reason for Wenger to not shake Guardiola's hand? Here are a list of the 10 most likely reasons why Wenger refused to shake hands.
- Arsene Wenger has sensitive skin and more then one handshake a day causes epithelial discomfort and rash
- Arsene Wenger didn't like the smell Pep Guardiola's pomegranate lavender hand lotion left on him
- Arsene Wenger subscribes to the idea of cooties
- Arsene Wenger contracted hand, foot, and mouth disease during the match and this was an action meant to save Guardiola
- Arsene Wenger was in the midst of an LSD flashback from that one time in college and thought Guardiola was a giant ant wearing a suit
- Arsene Wenger suffers from peladophobia and Matthias Sammer was too close to Guardiola
- Arsene Wenger just remembered he left the stove on and had to rush home
- Arsene Wenger was too preoccupied with the fact that his hands were phantom miming zipping up his giant puffy coat and were stuck in a reflex loop
- Arsene Wenger has no hands, just robotic prosthetics, and they turned off when he made a diving gesture at Arjen Robben because their software algorithm assumed he was going swimming
- Arsene Wenger doesn't believe in half-time handshakes because this is war
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