So… with that being said, Marko is once again here to help you out. Missed any of the CL games this week? Well, if you did: shame on you... because there wasn't a stinker in the bunch. Fantastic Football. I almost feel like I am enabling such behaviour with these fan threads. But I can’t stop now… so here you go. As has been done in the past, based on the Highly Scientific Super Top Secret Goal.com and Clark Whitney Approved Method of Psychic Prediction Algorithms, Tea Leaves, and How I Feel When I Woke Up This Morning (TM) (GMBH) (LTD) (CO) and using the Psychic Tentacles Rating of 1 (very bad) to 8 (very awesome), Marko will do the following · Recap the 2nd leg for you, briefly but give you enough to save face in front of the water cooler · Recap Marko’s prediction of what he thought would happen · Evaluate the prediction based on the Psychic Tentacles Scale, and then proceed to brag, defend, bitch, whine, complain, insult, and other necessary actions.
F%%k it all to f%%k.
My prediction scores were both the same: One shattered out of sheer rage and frustration Psychic Octopus Crystal Ball out of 1.
No bragging or defending, maybe some whining or insulting.
Because both of these games were so damn similar in nature, there’s no reason to separate them.
As for the recaps, here goes:
Real and Atletico won for one simple reason: Jose and Pep listened to others and altered their game plans. For the worse.
Forget strategy, forget tactics, forget players, forget crowds, forget the first legs, forget it all. Pep and Jose simply (and proverbially) put, did not dance with the one who brought them to the dance in the second leg.
What does Pep do well? Pass pass pass pass pass pass pass and then pass a million times more. Effective? Sure. Boring? Maybe. Frustrating? Can be. Hate it or love it, but accept it: it is the system that got Bayern where Bayern got this season. How many times did we see it this season: pass the ball a bagajillizion times, wait for a mistake, wait for the opposition to get tired, don’t get caught on the counter, and win. Hate it, love it, whatever: it’s what got us a boatload of records this season and sewed up the BL the way we did. And for all the hate and wailing and despair, it was the right thing to do back in Madrid; limit Real’s chances, keep them on their back heels defensively, don’t let them have the ball, go for the chance if it’s there. It worked almost perfectly. But that wasn’t good enough: people clamored for more of an attacking style. People clamored that it was anti-Bayern and boring.
So Pep acquiesced, and attacked more directly in the 2nd leg. But that’s not how Bayern plays this season, and if you’re going to change up your tactics, do it against FC Eintracht Uber-Unterdiescheissteich SV… don’t do it against the best counter attacking team in Europe with the most lethal offense in Europe. So, we got what we got: a thrashing.
And the worst part about this thrashing: it was utterly, totally, fully, and completely unnecessary. All Pep had to do was remind people who he was, what he’s accomplished, and what’s he’s done. All Pep had to do was walk into the locker room and remind the boys what they did in Madrid. Remind them to keep that ball and never give it up. Remind them to pass pass pass pass pass pass and pass again. Remind them how tired Real was and a Gotze miss hit was the only reason why it wasn't a draw. Remind them that football is a 2 legged, 90 minute affair and that there was NO reason to go to the attack in the first half, unless Real scored. Wear them down, break them down, when they slip up, go for the jugular.
Remind them to play their game.... remind them to dance with whom they brought to the dance; use the system that got them to the Champions League semi final.
But Bayern didn’t. Whether it was the players, the strategy, the coaching, but for whatever reason: Bayern forgot about who they were. They tried to be a team that they weren’t. And Real punished them for it. Perhaps that’s what pisses me off the most about this Bayern loss. If Bayern had lost 4-0 to Real, but had played their Tika-taki-Tiki-Taki-pass-pass-pass system and got caught on the counter 4 times, I honestly would have been less mad than I am now. But they didn’t… they tried to tie the game up in the first 10 minutes. They fell right into Real’s hands, and Ramos’ head. They weren't true to the system that got them as far as it had.
Same thing with Chelsea. Jose knew what he had to do: get one goal. Chelsea didn’t even have the problem of being down going back home. What brought Chelsea to the dance? The hyper defensive, 5-3-1 defensive style. The Parking of the bus. But what did they do? They attacked. And Atletico made them pay. Simple as that. No more needs to be written. Had Chelsea literally done what they did against Liverpool, been that sieged fortress that picked its attacks, and won, Atletico would not have stood a chance.
Und das, as they say, is das.
So liebechens, that's it. It's been fun being your Psychic Octopus this CL season. Since there was an absence of a predictions thread that we had done in the past, it was a nice (and a bit narcissistic) way to predict, vent, and spew about the best sporting competition in the world.
As for the final, some team from Madrid will win it, and to be honest, I could really give three drops of $hit from a dead dog's anus who. Let Real win it so the Madristas would shut the hell up about it finally. Let Atletico win so La Liga isn't as much of a 2 horse race as it is now.... I don't care. I probably won't watch it. Or I might. I dunno. The way Real played, I'd be surprised if they didn't win. But Atletico seems to have their (and Barca's) number this season...
I really don't care who wins... because it won't be Bayern.