FanPost

Missed Some/Any/All of the Round of 8 Champions League Games 1st Leg? AKA: Polo... psychic? More like psy-schtick!!!

Hi all... it's your friend, Markopolo.

I won't lie to you kids.... there are times in every great Psychic predictors careers where the going is good, the crystal ball is clear, the results are coming in, and the tentacles are tingling with psychic energy.

Then there was this. While not my worst work... certainly, it is not something I am proud of.

Nevertheless, if you are expecting Markpolo to bugger off and not take it like your BFW Resident Psychic should... well then amigo... go follow Clark Whitney or something. Because these tentacles don't run, BABY!!!

So... let's take a look back: In this Fanpost, Markopolo will:

  • Recap what you missed in the 1st game
  • Recap his prediction of what he thought would happen,
  • Rate the prediction on a scale of 1 to 8 tentacles (1 being totally wrong, 8 being pure psychic perfection)
  • Give his prediction for the 2nd leg
Without furtheradooodododoodooo:

********************


Atlético Madrid 1 - FC Barcelona 1... @ Cam Nou.
What you missed: A Spanish slug-fest that ended in a draw, which imho, was deserved. Barca seemed to be the better team, but just couldn't pull out the win.
What did Marko think would happen?

So... let's admit this right off the bat: much like the media who don't pay attention to any BL teams not named Bayern Munchen or Borrusia Dortmund, I don't much follow any other La Liga teams not named Real Madrid or Barcelona. So I'm still not buying the whole Atletico craze. Especially against Barcelona, a team that does pretty damn well in the Champions League. I know Barca's starting goalie is out, but I think between Messi, Xavi, and Neymar, they can handle this one nicely.... Barca 4, Atletico 2

Psychic Rating: 2 tentacles

I know... god forbid I think the Argentinian Midget Jesus and the Brazillian Meteroman score 4 goals. Pfffffffff.

2nd Leg Prediction

I'm not going to lie to you... maybe I should pay attention more to Atlético. But I honestly can't see them getting past Barca twice. Barca has too much damn talent and CL experience to lose to Atlético. I don't care if they have Costa, Villa, or that Barca's missing their starting goalie... a champions league semi final with Barca is like a Bayern Munchen game day thread without me posting Die Stern des Sudens lyrics.

Barca 2, Atlético2... they tie, but Barca advance on away goals.

********************

PSG 3 - Chelsea FC 1... @ PSG

What you missed:

A game that was closer, at least to me, than the score indicated. A Luis own goal and a Pastore late strike means Chelsea have some work to do back in London

What did Marko think would happen?

After a careful distillation process, I'll keep this brief. PSG is very offensively gifted, Chelsea is very defensively gifted. Defense wins championships... Chelsea 2, PSG 0

Psychic Ranking: 1 tentacle

Because it's the lowest ranking I could go. How dare I think Zlatan would let his team be shut out (even if he didn't score)

2nd Leg Prediction:

I still haven't given up on Chelsea. They're back in england... they're better prepared. I think they took PSG too lightly and Jose won't make that mistake again. I think they'll ground and pound PSG down and will get it done to advance to the next round

Chelsea 2 - PSG 0... They tie, but Chelsea advance on away goals(and yes, I know what I did there and so do you)

******************

Real Madrid 3, Borussia Dortmund 0... @ Madrid

What you missed:

A show put on by Madrid, who took their chances, and took it to BVB, who didn't capitalize on their chances.

What did Marko think would happen?

Oh boy... this has blow out written all over it. And, just to see the utter pain and suffering on his face, it'd be nice to watch an internationally televised 90 minute medieval proctology exam of Jurgen Klopp. But I don't think it will be. When their backs are against the wall, BVB fairs well. They thrive on being the underdog, they thrive whenever someone counts them out... and if they start off well, I could see a draw.

Or they could Gelsenkirchen it up something fierce, and that's that. But my Psychic Octopus tentacles don't see that happening. Draw 2-2

Psychic Ranking: 1 tentacle.

I dunno who I'm more mad at... Madrid for not kicking the ever living $hit out of BVB and making the 2nd leg a waste of time... or BVB for not taking advantage of their actual chances that they did have. This could have been a draw, but Auyberadhfhhhoweveryouspellhisdamnname and Reus didn't capitalize on what they were given. Arg

2nd Leg Prediction:

Lewa's back! Guess what... it won't matter. We could loan them Gotze back and it still wouldn't matter. Real wins 4-0, and advances handsomely as Cristy himself

******************

Bayern Munchen 1, Manchester United 1 @ Manchester

What you missed:

We huffed and puffed and never let them see the ball and we only drew. Everyone was expecting a rout, and since that didn't happen, we may as well have lost

What did Marko think would happen?

TL;DR: I thought we'd lose 3-2

Psychic Ranking: 3 tentacles

... because I'm the one doing the self reflection here, not you. So sue me.

2nd Leg Prediction:

I'm feeling good about this game. Yes, we drew, but it wasn't a 0-0 draw or anything like that. Yes, we are somewhat in a mini slump, but that's about to change. Because we're getting back to basics... we're going back to the 4141 and letting Toni Kroos earn that pay raise. We're gonna let Mandi show the world that he doesn't want to be 2nd Banana to our Polish Prinz. We're gonna let Rafinha show Big Phil that he deserves to be on the Brazilian national team. The Allianz is going to be rocking. We're at home. Yes, we're missing Bastian, but we've done it before and we'll do it again. So bring on the smothering possession percentage. Bring on the exponentially obscene passing numbers. Bring on the neck pillow for Manuel Neuer. We're winning this one... Bayern 2- Manchester 0, in a score that is very flattering to Manchester, as they won't get their first shot on goal until the 60th-ish minute.

******************

But wait!!! There's more: THE FINAL FOUR LINEUP BONUS PREDICTION!!!!!

Bayern - Barcelona (aka: Pep Goes Home!)

Real Madrid - Chelsea (aka: Jose Goes Home!)

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The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bavarian Football Works readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bavarian Football Works editors or staff.

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