Markopolo's Psychic Predictions for the Elite 8 of the Champions League

Welcome back to the greatest prediction series, this side of The Perfect Soccer Website Ever Created in the Past, Present, and Future of the Internets.

In this fan post, as Marko has done in the past, he is putting his Psychic Octopus hat on, polishing up the crystal ball, and giving you his 100% endorsed by Clark Whitney himself (TM) (GMBH) predictions for the UEFA Champions League quarterfinal.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: don't take these predictions to the bank, and blame me later... gambling's bad... m'kay?

Here we go!


Atletico Madrid vs Barcelona... in Barcelona

Markopolo's Psychic Octopus Prediction: Barcelona 4, Atletico Madrid 2

So... let's admit this right off the bat: much like the media who don't pay attention to any BL teams not named Bayern Munchen or Borrusia Dortmund, I don't much follow any other La Liga teams not named Real Madrid or Barcelona. So I'm still not buying the whole Atletico craze. Especially against Barcelona, a team that does pretty damn well in the Champions League. I know Barca's starting goalie is out, but I think between Messi, Xavi, and Neymar, they can handle this one nicely....


Paris St. Germain vs Chelsea FC... in Paris

Markopolo's Psychic Octopus Prediction: Chelsea 2, PSG 0

After a careful distillation process, I'll keep this brief. PSG is very offensively gifted, Chelsea is very defensively gifted. Defense wins championships...


Real Madrid vs Borrusia Dortmund... in Madrid

Markopolo's Psychic Octopus Prediction: Real Madrid 2- BVB - 2

Oh boy... this has blow out written all over it. And, just to see the utter pain and suffering on his face, it'd be nice to watch an internationally televised 90 minute medieval proctology exam of Jurgen Klopp. But I don't think it will be. When their backs are against the wall, BVB fairs well. They thrive on being the underdog, they thrive whenever someone counts them out... and if they start off well, I could see a draw.

Or they could Gelsenkirchen it up something fierce, and that's that. But my Psychic Octopus tentacles don't see that happening.


Bayern Munchen vs Manchester Untied... in Manchester

Markopolo's Psychic Octopus Prediction: Manchester United 3 - Bayern Munchen 2

Yes, I'm predicting a loss for Bayern Munchen.

No, I'm not happy about it. No, I'm not trolling. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, you can tell me how wrong I am. No, you cannot be derogatory or too blatantly insulting while doing so.

But it's time. It's time for Bayern to take one on the chin. It's time for the accolades and glories and heralding this as the GOAT lineup at Bayern eve to stop. These sorts of things need to happen in June/July; they do NOT need to happen in March. And don't give me the "Bayern have already taken it on the chin!" arguement... they haven't. They lost a meaningless group stage game against City and drew a forgone conclusion against Arsenal. Neither of those were "taking it on the chin"

No: taking it on the chin will be when Rooney scores within the first 5 minutes... and then again after 20. Taking it on the chin will be when our back 4 look like a clusterf$$k and Pep is screaming in rage. Then when the 2nd half restarts and Robben scores one, we'll feel confident, only for Rooney to respond again. Yes, someone will make it 3-2 in extra time, but then, our jaw line will be pretty bruised. Taking it on the chin is the next week of internet articles and pundits gleely cackling at our demise. And guess what: it will all be for Bayern's benefit in the long run, especially in the return leg in Munchen. That which does not kill you, will make you stronger... And we're strong as it is, but thus will give us the extra push for the treble.

Listen: if I'm wrong, strap me to the chair and force feed me crow until I'm honey bee yellow and black all over. I'll proudly shout how much I gelsenkirchen'd this prediction up. Preach to me the stats and tactics and tell me how obvious it was that Bayern won. I'm a big boy... I'll take it like one.

But using every tenticle on the hat, every time I look in to the crystal ball, it tells me the same thing: Bayern taking it on the chin.

*shrug* Let's hope I'm wrong; I know I sure am hoping so too.

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bavarian Football Works readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bavarian Football Works editors or staff.

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